Becoming A Grace-Energized Mother

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Mothers Energized by Grace Love Their Children

Titus 2:4

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Ministry in Christ’s church was never easy, even from the start. As we open Paul’s letter to Pastor Titus, missionary church-planter to Crete—we look at the description of the cultural background of the congregation Titus served two thousand years ago.

Titus 1:12-13 One of them, a prophet of their own, said, “Cretans are always liars, evil beasts, lazy gluttons.” This testimony is true. Therefore rebuke them sharply, that they may be sound in the faith (NKJV)

Wow! Just think of what a miracle it was to find a group of believers saved out of such a godless society. They came from centuries of culture dominated by total (‘always”) untrustworthiness(‘liars’), total out-of-control living (‘evil beasts’), and the total undisciplined pursuit of personal lust-filled appetites (‘lazy gluttons’).

Again we see from these two verses that when the Gospel of Jesus Christ entered the Roman world of the New Testament the landscape was very bleak. Christ’s church was born into a sin-warped, sin-darkened world of mixed-up marriages, sin-scarred lives, and confused families.

Paul here quoted a line from a poem by Epimenides, a poet and philosopher who had lived inCrete 600 years earlier. The quotation reveals basic character flaws in the Cretans, giving them a bad reputation for lying, violence, and laziness The reputation of the Cretans was so bad that the verb form of their name (kretizo) was used by the Greeks to indicate lying. Paul applied this familiar phrase to the false teachers.^[1]

But men and women who were gloriously saved did not automatically become great wives and mothers or husbands and fathers. When they came to Christ and were forgiven, God graciously gave them everything they needed to become godly wives, mothers, husbands, and fathers. But, they needed something else. They needed worship services that taught them to believe correctly, and then they needed small group discipleship times to learn how to behave correctly. Correct behavior is behavior energized by grace.

I really believe that this insight into the Cretan culture can stir our hearts to glorify the amazing grace and saving power of God.

If the Gospel of Christ can reach into a culture of people who were the descendents of the wicked, pagan Old Testament Philistines (as in Goliath and David) and build them into grace-energized servants of Christ’s church—He can work with anyone.
If God can make saints out of people who had so descended in their personal character until Paul describes them with this trio of disparaging words “Cretans are always liars, evil beasts, lazy gluttons”—He can change anyone no matter how weak, how wicked, how undisciplined.

This letter to Titus should encourage every one of us that God is so wonderful, His grace is so powerful, and we are so in need of His work in our lives. The greatest truth is that He can change us no matter how bad we’ve been, and no matter how much baggage we have brought into our new life with Him.

The Cretan church was saved, bought from the slave market of sin (redeemed), but still had clinging to their lives the garbage of their culture. They had generations of bad habits, false thinking, and warped lives.

What was the plan God had in mind to transform these very un-saintly people? The same plan He has for all of us this morning. Save them by His grace and sanctify them by His Word.

As I worked over this morning’s passage for the past two weeks I kept thinking about what the church in Crete must have looked like. Can you imagine congregation after congregation around that island of Crete that Titus had to visit? Each one had some form of the unpleasant odors of un-disposed of remnants of fleshly garbage. Each church had newly saved saints who were in varying degrees former totally untrustworthy liars, former totally out-of-control evil beasts, and former totally undisciplined, lazy gluttons!

Just like someone who smokes that can’t smell the stale odor of smoke that reeks from all their clothing, car or home—so these former pagans couldn’t smell all their fleshly habits that needed change. Like garbage left to rot smells until it is disposed of and cleansed away, so Titus was to start a spiritual search and dispose mission into the lives of the Cretans.

God wanted to shine the spotlight of His Word into their lives corporately, and then individually. As any garbage was exposed it was to be denied, and the area exposed to that garbage cleansed and freshened by the power of the sanctifying Spirit of God through His Word. That is the essence ofTitus 2:12-14.

Titus 2:12-14 teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly in the present age,13 looking for the blessed hope and glorious appearing of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ,14 who gave Himself for us, that He might redeem us from every lawless deed and purify for Himself His own special people, zealous for good works. NKJV

Two words stand out in v. 12. The word God chose for “teaching” is the word paideuo which speaks of training a child using discipline as needed. God wants us to be instructed, taught, trained, and whatever else is needed until we say no to sin.

The word “denying” is arneomai and means ‘to refuse, reject, not accept, not take an offer of’. This is the word used for Peter’s denials of the Lord after Gethsemane (Matthew 26:70, 72); and it is the same word for Moses when he refused to be called the son of Pharaoh’s daughter (Heb. 11:24). God wants us to not accept any stinking garbage from the world, He wants us to refuse anything that will foul the fragrance of the worship we are to offer.

The mission Paul sent Titus out to do was to take the new believers and have them scrape off their lives anything that clung to them of the old life and mortify, sanctify, and purify away anything that was not pleasing to God.

The Cretans as new believers were out of whack in one way or another and smelled bad spiritually–their lives, their marriages, and their homes. And that is just the type of material God can use for His marvelous work of salvation. What they needed was long-term sanctification. They were just children-in-the-faith in need of a long bath in God’s Word, administered by mothers and fathers-in-the-faith!

This need for removing remnants of garbage that stinks confronted me on Thursday night. I walked into our house for the first time in ten days and it smelled like a dumpster. I prowled around looking for where that horrible smell was coming from. Trash cans were checked, pantry potato bags, fruit bowl, and all came up clear. Then I saw a dark circle on the floor in front of the fridge. When I pulled open the door of that trusted 12 year old appliance there was the finest collection of colorful molds and layers of decay available anywhere in the city. Our compressor had died, and the result was a stinking mess. But because I value that appliance I had only one choice—to get rid of the garbage.

For the next six hours I bagged, hauled, washed, scraped, bleached and scrubbed that old friend in the kitchen until it was pure white again and mold and stink free. Refrigerators have no smell of their own; they just hold objects that begin to smell if allowed to. All it needed was to be washed and renewed and it would be back as good as new.

When Titus came to Crete to pastor Christ’s church, it was sometime in the early 60’s AD. As he arrived, the churches were filled with spiritual lives that smelled like a dumpster. The old rotted flesh of their former ways stood in the way of their progress in Christ. They were bought and paid for but needed the washing of sanctification through God’s Word.

There were stinking lives, stinking marriages, and stinking families. Paul proposed to Titus a two-part plan: regular systematic teaching in the church gatherings and private one-on-one discipling sessions for focused applications of the sanctifying Word.

When we study this idea of the older-in-the-faith godly, Titus 2 woman we are describing a woman who has chosen to learn from God how to live her life day-by-day and step-by-step in a way that pleases God. Women energized by grace are useful to God.

Titus 2 describes how God works in the life of a believer. When we were saved and the gospel of grace began in our lives, the evidence is seen in the sanctification process. Grace always teaches genuine believers how to say “no” to sin in any form. When God gets to pick the curriculum for His Church, what does He choose to be taught? He lays down godly character qualities He wants in women.

For just a moment please follow along in your Bibles in Titus 2:3-5, as I again read those special character traits for women.

3 the [grace energized] older womenlikewise, that they be

Reverent in behavior,
Not slanderers,
Not given to much wine,
Teachers of good things— v. 4
That they admonish

the [grace energized] young women

To love their husbands,
To love their children, v. 5
To be discreet,
Chaste,
Homemakers,
Good,
Obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.

Women energized by grace who have these characteristics are highly useful to God. The long-term goal of their lives is geared towards being useful to God.

Christ’s Church Used Grace Energized Coaches in Godly Living

The whole goal of a Titus 2 woman is to train younger women in Biblical, simple-to-measure, Spirit-empowered, love-based living.

The Titus Two woman is an imperfect person, saved by God, and energized by His grace to live an exemplary life as described in Titus 2:3-4. As we have already learned in v. 3 we can summarize that:

Women energized by grace—are reverent in their behavior,
Women energized by grace—are not slanderers,
Women energized by grace—are not given to much wine,
Women energized by grace—are teachers of good things, and
Women energized by grace—are discipling younger women.

Those new believers, fresh out of paganism needed coaching, training, modeling, and encouraging in a one-on-one relationship. Godly behavior is a series of choices; and those men and women had to be nurtured in daily skills that would lead to loving marriages and families.

And that is the vital ministry which we find captured for us in Titus 2.

God wants men and women that will mentor, nurture, and coach godly living for His church. These individuals believe that God has called them to touch one life at a time for His glory.

4b “the young women to love their husbands” (6) Wives energized by grace love their husbands.

Wives energized by grace are first of all “lovers of their husbands.”

A Christian home in a pagan culture was a radically new thing.

Those believing wives in the early church like those today, almost always want to obey the Lord, thus they submit and fulfill their responsibilities to their husbands—but often only dutifully and not lovingly. It’s not just that loving your husband is a virtue; Paul says that not loving him in a way that he can feel—is a sin!

Go back and by God’s grace rekindle the blessing, edifying, sharing, and touching that always builds a strong, close, encouraging partnership for life. Be a beacon of Christ’s love reflecting to an empty and hopeless world that true love is possible and can be shared for as long as you live.

4c “to love their children” (7) Mothers energized by grace love their children.

Mothers energized by grace are secondly “lovers of children.”

This characteristic is also one word in the Greek text, philoteknos and it means to be a lover of children. As we see in 1 Timothy 2:15, this is a woman’s highest calling. “God doesn’t want all women to be mothers or they would be. Those women who have no children mean a great deal to God’s kingdom because He has given them freedom to serve in unique ways. God wants women who are mothers to love their children, which involves making personal sacrifices for the benefit of their children. Remember, loving your children is not merely expressing love your children can feel, it is also pouring yourself into your child’s life so that he or she grows up to love Christ.”

Almost all mothers in the world have the same maternal instinct of love, nurture and protection for their babies. It causes great and widespread public indignation when a mother is found abandoning, or even worse, harming her child. That is built into almost every mom. But there is also an equally widespread reality. From time to time it becomes so very hard to take care of children that a mom no longer “feels” positive feelings towards her children.

In the Roman world, those feelings arose from having to bear children as a “duty” for the husbands, or from having no life outside the home being acceptable so there was never a moment of rest from the constant demands and pressures of the children, or even more prevalent, the Roman world’s sweeping women’s liberation movement had infected many women with the sense that they should get out and make a place for themselves in a male-dominated world.

Things haven’t changed much in twenty-centuries, have they? Those same pressures that were brought into homes and marriages in Paul’s day, are still in various degrees with us now. And, the basic emotional make-up of people is pretty similar around the world, as well as throughout history. So how did God instruct Paul to prepare Christ’s church for these great social challenges and family pressures? Again, Titus 2 has the solution. God says that the way that tired, burned out, and depressed mothers get relief is from the faithful army of Titus 2 grace-energized role models.

In new marriages or when children first come to a home, busyness and activity reach a high pitch as the tasks of homemaking and child care increase. Is it possible that being loving can get crowded out? Don’t forget the love that motivated the marriage and the desire for children. Don’t let all the tasks (even though some are very irritating) ruin the love relationship.

Within the church today, older women rarely become active role models for the younger women. In fact, the honor due our elders in the church is often absent. Age groups are isolated from each other, causing people to feel that little can be learned from one another. It is unfortunate when patterns in society become patterns for the church. The church must encourage intergenerational caring and sharing. There are times when the kitchen provides an eloquent pulpit for the application of biblical truth!

What are some of the lessons these in-Spirit prompted in-home mentors would teach? Just a few might be:

Explain to them that negative feelings towards your own children in some circumstances are normal, even for a mature and godly woman.
Remind them that God planned for younger women in His church to need the mentoring of older women.
Show them how families are vulnerable to cultural trends that seep in slowly, and how these trends can devastate a Biblical family life.
Teach them the Biblical perspective of motherhood with children being gifts from the Lord and our highest duty to raise for the God’s glory.
Assure them that we do not have any unique challenges, just the same old struggles that God’s Word has clearly said would need to be faced and dealt with God’s way.

Why did Paul stress that young Christian women should love their husbands and families? While such teaching may appear too obvious for mention, there are forces at work in today’s world that undermine even that very basic part of family life.

Women are being told that their interests or desires come first, that they must seek what makes them happy before they can be good wives and mothers. While women should be encouraged to use their gifts and abilities, each Christian woman must align her priorities with God’s wisdom, not the world’s values. She must love her husband and her children, accepting the sacrifices that love brings. God will honor those who value what He values.

Women who were new Christians were to learn how to have harmony in the home by watching older women who had been Christians for some time. We have the same need today. Younger wives and mothers should learn to live in a Christian manner—loving their husbands and caring for their children—by observing exemplary women of God. If you are of an age or position where people look up to you, make sure that your example motivates younger believers to live in a way that honors God.

The Bible clearly explains and illustrates this love that was modeled by Christ. This special “phileo” love is demonstrated by Jesus Himself. This type of close, companionship and friendship, emotional love is how Christ’s relationship is described with Lazarus (John 11:3) and with “the disciple He loved” named John (John 20:2). This is also the word used in Revelation 3:19 for Christ’s love for true saints in His church.

Jesus demonstrated His love to Lazarus and all who saw that friendship knew how close they were. The same was seen in Christ’s closeness to the Apostle John. That is how Jesus loves us, and wants us to know He loves us, feeling His closeness, and enjoying His friendship.

And that “phileo” love that is emotional, close, and visible is what the Lord asks from grace-energized mothers towards their children.

Here are ten practical “love gifts” that mothers energized by grace can offer that can be felt; in other words practical ways a Titus 2 mentor encourages a younger mother in loving her children.

Give them a heart that prays.
Give them a heart that serves and meets their needs with love: a regular schedule of nutritious meals, clean clothes, clean bodies, adequate sleep and rest.
Give them a heart that rejoices and is filled with happiness. Psalm 113:9 describes a “joyful” mother.
Give them a heart that gives like Christ’s (Mark 10:45): because love gives (John 3:16); because love is generous (II Cor. 9:6); because love expects nothing back (Luke 6:35).
Give them a heart that plays and is full of fun.
Give them a heart that celebrates all their special days (Matthew 5:41); and since we have to do all those things in the family, why not make them special!
Give them a heart that prefers your family first (Titus 2:4 says they are your first priority).
Give them a heart that is focused (Matthew 6:24).
Give them a heart that is present and attentive (Psalm 119:10 ‘my whole heart’).
Give them a heart that trusts in the Lord (Isaiah 26:3 ‘perfect peace…trusts’).

^[1] Barton, Bruce B. ; Veerman, David ; Wilson, Neil S.: 1 Timothy, 2 Timothy, Titus. Wheaton, Ill. : Tyndale House Publishers, 1993 (Life Application Bible Commentary), S. 260

Transcript

I want you to open with me to Titus. We’re going to start in chapter 1, get to chapter 2 in a moment. We’ve been looking at the Church, especially at how a Church was planted in the most difficult place on the planet Earth.

It was planted in the island of Crete. It was planted among a group of people that were very resistant to the Gospel. I think it is very, very important for us to realize that it’s never been easy to minister in Christ’s Church. There’s never been a time, even at the beginning, right close to the day of Pentecost, right in the shadow of the apostles, it’s never been easy because our culture filled with the evils that it is, with the prince of this world, the prince of the power of the air, Satan, infiltrating the hearts and minds and lives and cultures of this planet. It’s always been hard for the Gospel to go forward, but God energizing a group of people by His grace has permeated every corner of this world. And I want you to see, starting in chapter 1, we’re going to look at verses 12 and 13 as an introduction, I want you to see the character of the people that Titus was called to minister to. And I hope that as you see how Paul characterized them, and how he affirmed their deficiencies, I hope you realize that God wants to do the impossible in us as He energizes us by His grace. He wants to completely change us from the inside out and slowly see all the garbage and the smelly parts of the world that are still in our lives sanctified right out of us. Because that’s what He was doing in Titus, in his ministry, especially when we get to chapter 2.

Look at Paul’s letter to Pastor Titus, missionary, church planter to Crete. Look at the description of the cultural background of the congregation that Titus served 2,000 years ago. Starting in verse 12. Just follow along. This is just an introduction. We’re going to read our text in a few moments, but verse 12.

One of them, a prophet of their own said… Now this is Paul quoting a 600 year old writing by a guy named Epimenedes. And listen to this description of the island of Crete. Cretans are always liars, evil beasts, lazy gluttons. And that’s the end of the quote from Epimenedes. Now look what Paul says quoting this pagan philosopher, characterized as a prophet in that day, this testimony is true. How would you like to go to a group of people and say, you are a bunch of constant liars, evil beasts, and lazy gluttons and say, I’m not joking, it’s true. That’s the congregation. That’s the culture that the congregation had come to Christ from. Can you imagine the challenges Titus had?

That’s why, look what Paul continues, therefore rebuke them sharply that they may be sound in the faith. All my heart does when I read that is say, Wow! Wow! What a miracle it was to find a group of believers saved out of such a godless society. The island of Crete, characterized by this constant untruthfulness, by this gluttonous, evil beastness that these people were, what a miracle. They came from centuries of culture dominated by total, notice how it says always, so he’s not exaggerating, total untrustworthiness. They were liars. Total out of control living. That’s why they’re called evil beasts. You know, an evil beast is something that just does whatever it wants, whenever it wants to. It’s totally out of control. It’s a menace. And he says, you’re always, you Cretins, totally out of control in your life. And the total undisciplined pursuit of personal lust filled appetites, that’s a lazy glutton. Someone that never has enough. They just want more and more and more and more. And so, he says, you Cretins, your island is characterized by a lifestyle of total untrustworthiness, total out of control living, and total undisciplined pursuit of your appetites. And that’s the group of people the Gospel came to.

Titus really had a challenge, didn’t he? He really had a hard group to minister to. It’s like the world today I would say. If you read the news, if you look at the goings on, we have a great lack of trustworthiness in our culture. We have a great lack of control. People are out of control. Whether they’re gunning down people or bilking them out of every dime they can, there’s just an out of control and there’s this endless insatiable appetite, lust filled desires. Again, we see from these two verses that when the Gospel of Jesus Christ entered the Roman world in the New Testament, the landscape was very bleak. There, it wasn’t a good crowd that were all prepped for this Gospel. Christ’s Church was born into sin warped, sin darkened lives, mixed up marriages, sin scarred lives of confused families.

So, what does Paul use as his entree to understand how to reach this culture? He reminds Titus of Epimenedes assessment of this culture 600 years prior. And he said it’s only 600 years have gone by and they’ve only gotten worse, Titus. So, you need to really rebuke them so they’ll be sound in their faith. This quotation reveals the basic character flaws of the Cretans. It gave them a bad reputation for lying, for violence, and laziness. In fact, the reputation of the Cretans was so bad that the verb form of their name Crete, kreit, k r e i t, kreitizo, means to lie in the Greek language, taken from the name of the Cretan people. They were just known as constant liars. And that’s where Paul sent Titus to work.

But men and women who were gloriously saved out of this Cretan culture did not automatically become model wives and mothers, model husbands and fathers. They did not become model citizens of the Church. What Paul tells Titus is they needed to be trained in the Word of God. As it says in verse 13, to become sound in their faith. I really believe that this 12th and 13th verse of the first chapter, giving us an insight into the Cretan culture, can inspire our hearts. You say, what’s inspiring about lazy gluttons and evil beasts and constant liars? This is how I think about it.

The amazing grace and saving power of God is so evident. If the Gospel of Christ can reach into a culture of people who were the descendants, remember who the Cretans, who they sent off from their shores about 1,500 years before Paul got there and sent Titus? Do you know who they sent off? They sent off the Sea Peoples, which we know in the Old Testament as the Philistines. So, when you think of Crete, think of Philistines, think of the ancestors of Goliath. That’s who was living there, and they had only gotten worse over the years, as Paul points out by this assessment. But if they can be built into grace energized servants of Christ’s Church, God can work with anyone. See, that’s the lesson I get immediately. These people who were always totally characterized by this, became model examples of grace, energized servants of Christ. God can work with anyone. There’s no one beyond the scope of His amazing saving power. If God can make saints out of people who had so descended in their personal character until Paul describes them with his trio of disparaging words, always liars, evil beasts, and lazy gluttons, He can change anyone no matter how weak, how wicked, how undisciplined. Did you know, no matter how undisciplined we might be, no matter how desirous and struggling with lust, that is exactly the life that Titus was instructed by the Apostle Paul, that the Spirit of God can completely transform and energize by God’s grace.

So, if you’re struggling, or if you aren’t even aware of it, and as we go through God’s Word you become aware of it, I want you to realize that this is not just a lesson for wives and mothers. When we get to verse 4 of chapter 2, which is where we’re headed. This is a message from God to all of us. He wants His grace to energize all of our lives, to change all of us from the inside out, just like He changed the Cretans. This letter to Titus should encourage every one of us that God is so wonderful, His grace is so powerful, and we are so in need of His work in our lives. The greatest truth is that He can change us no matter how bad we’ve been, no matter how much baggage we brought into our new life with Him.

These Cretans, these born again Cretans brought a lot of baggage into their new life in Christ. Yes, they were absolutely justified in God’s sight. Yes, they were the penalty for their sin and all of the complete absence of holiness in their life had been cleansed away and the righteousness of Christ put into them. They stood justified in God’s sight as if they had never sinned. But they were still encased in their old flesh. And that new life in Christ was dragging along, the baggage of the old person they used to be. And so, Titus tells us more compellingly than almost any other part of the scripture how you deal in the realm of sanctification, how sanctification takes place in our lives. The taught Word, the energy of God’s grace, and the choices of those mentoring godly older believers, and how they build into the life, reinforcing what is taught in the public service. And those two are taken by the grace of God to change the life.

The Cretan church was saved. They’ve been bought from the slave market of sin, which is redemption but they still had clinging to their lives the garbage of their culture. They had generations of bad habits. That’s why he told the older women that they shouldn’t drink too much. They had generations of bad habits, of warped thinking. They had all kinds of warped lives.

And what was the plan God had in mind to transform these very unsaintly people? The same plan he has for all of us. Save them by His grace, sanctify them through His word. God’s plan hasn’t changed; doesn’t matter what culture it enters. Whether it goes into the heart of Africa, as I’ve told you many times my hero C. T. Studd, the great missionary pioneer, the first 30 years of this past century, worked in Africa. Whether you go there, or whether you go to the modern, godless, secular Europe as John Glass is going today, it doesn’t matter where you go, God’s plan is the same. Save them by His grace. Sanctify them by the work of God, His Spirit through His Word. So that’s what Titus was commended to do.

As I worked over this morning’s passage, this past two weeks, I kept thinking about how the church in Crete must have looked. Can you imagine a congregation that Titus would come to of all, remember he was supposed to travel the island, go to each congregation of new believers, and he was supposed to appoint elders. And as he was in this circuit, traveling around the island, appointing elders in every church, can you imagine what the congregations looked like? I thought about that this morning. I thought about each church they went into would have some form of unpleasant odors of undisposed remnants of their fleshly garbage. When he would go there, he would see the trappings of what they used to be because it would come up in their lives. That’s why he was supposed to rebuke them sharply to live like they were supposed to be in Christ. Like they had become in Christ. To let their everyday life come up to what their calling was and their position in Christ.

I used to love it, Bonnie reminded me this week as we were thinking back of our years at Grace Community Church, John MacArthur used to always say the same thing to us on staff. He says on Sunday morning, he says when I preach, and he would preach to about 3,000 or 4,000 in each service. He says, when I look out at the congregation, he says I never see them as they are. He said that would be too discouraging. He says I see them as they will be. That’s how God sees us. And maybe that’s how we ought to look on others, as they shall be as we bring about this sanctifying work by mentoring them in a Titus 2 way.

As he went around to these fleshly odors in these churches, these people, some of them were like garbage left to rot, and it smells until it’s disposed of and cleansed away. So, Titus was to start a search and disposal mission into the lives of the Cretans. He was supposed to, through the preaching of the Word, alert them to the parts of their lives that were not pleasing to God.

So that they could, and turn to chapter 2 and look at verse 12, he was to show them and teach them that they should be denying ungodliness and worldly lust. He was on this search and isolate and destroy all the remnants of the flesh that were still in their lives, in their marriages, in their families, in their private lives. In all of that, he was to expose the Word of God so that they could appropriate the grace of God to learn, Titus 2:12, to deny ungodliness in any form [that] it showed up in their lives. God wanted to shine the spotlight of His Word into their lives corporately.

And then, He wanted them to come alongside an older believer in the faith and individually have their lives exposed to the Word and to the transforming grace of God. Any garbage that was exposed was to be denied, as it says in verse 12, denying ungodliness. Anything, any ungodly, any ungodlike habit, any ungodlike thinking, any ungodlike characteristic in their life was to be denied. It was to be rejected. It was to be, as Paul says in other parts of his writings, to be mortified. It was to be put off. It was to be no longer a part of their lives. He says, deny it. That area exposed, the garbage cleansed and freshened by the power of the sanctifying Spirit of God. That’s the essence of Titus 2:12-14.

So you see, the Cretans, Titus 13, were always liars and evil beasts and lazy gluttons. The grace of God was to energize their lives. And from their salvation onward they had the power of God to learn to systematically deny ungodliness, deny worldly lusts, and to learn to live soberly and righteously and godly in the world on the island of Crete. They weren’t supposed to move somewhere else. They weren’t supposed to start a Christian commune out on some island in the Mediterranean where it wasn’t so bad. They were supposed to live that godly life in the midst of that 600 year old, steeped in such wickedness, society of Crete.

Two words stand out in verse 12, if you look back there. The word God chose for teaching is the word paideuō. It speaks of training a child, using discipline as needed. In fact, it’s actually the word for childing. And it’s for teaching someone that needs to learn from the ground up. The grace of God, verse 12 teaches us it starts us out as children and His, God’s grace takes us from being children to growing into maturity. That’s what His grace is all about. It’s to teach us, paideuō, to instruct us, train us to do whatever is needed, for us to learn to say no to sin. If you’re growing spiritually, if you’re saying more and more no’s to sin. If you’re more increasing in your yeses to God and more increasing in your no’s to your flesh and to the way you were and to sin and to the temptations that surround us.

I got an interesting note this week from a missionary in Japan and they were listening to one of our services. It’s so fascinating. I never know what service they’ve listened to on the website and they just start talking about it as if I’m talking to them. And this missionary in Japan said, boy, you don’t know temptation until you live here, in Japan. That message was great, but it’s worse in Japan. And I thought, isn’t it interesting, the whole world, even those in Christian ministry, is just constantly like a tsunami against us. So, what’s the answer? We’re energized by God’s grace. We can’t on our own say no to sin. But God’s Spirit living within us, God working in our lives, which is His grace at work in us, teaches us like a child, verse 12, to say no.

In fact, the word denying, look at verse 12, that’s the second word I want to point out. The word denying is arneomai. It means to refuse, to reject, to not accept, to not take the offer of. That’s what denying means. It means, whenever sin comes knocking at the door… You remember what Martin Luther used to say? He said, every time Satan knocks at my heart’s door, I send Jesus. And Jesus goes and says, Martin doesn’t live here anymore, I do. And he says it solves the problem. That’s what, in Martin Luther’s 500 year old thinking, that’s what denying ungodliness is all about. Saying no, rejecting, refusing, not accepting, not taking sins offer.

Now, it’s fascinating, this concept. Titus was to train the new believers in denying ungodliness. It’s interesting, the Holy Spirit instructed the Apostle Paul to use the same word that was used of Peter denying the Lord. Do you remember when we went through that whole post Gethsemane scene with Peter in Caiaphas’ courtyard? Do you remember how completely he denied the Lord? He blustered and flubbered and swore! Totally distanced himself and says, I don’t even, and he wouldn’t even mention Christ’s name. He says, I don’t even know that person. That’s the word, deny. That’s the word right here. We, like Peter denying the Lord, need to not deny the Lord. Deny sin. Say no, that’s not me anymore, that’s not what I want, that I reject, I refuse, I will not accept that offer. Be it pride, be it fear, whatever it is that knocks at our heart’s door. As a child, grace instructs us and leads us and matures us to start saying no to sin in every form.

The mission Paul sent Titus to do was to take the new believers and have them scrape off their lives anything that clung to them of the old life. To mortify, to sanctify, to purify anything that was not pleasing to God. The Cretans as new believers were out of whack in one way or another and smelled bad spiritually. Their lives smelled, their marriages smelled, their homes smelled. And that’s just the type of material God can use for His marvelous work of salvation. What they needed was long term sanctification. They were just children in the faith in need of a long bath in God’s Word administered by mothers and fathers of the faith. You see this whole idea is the older teaching, the younger. It is the older saying, yes, that has happened to me. And yes, I know how to deal with that.

Yesterday, the kids came in from bicycle riding and were totally oblivious to the fact that the new bicycle had been over greased, the chain, that black axle grease stuff on there. And it was so cute. They came in and there was gigantic black axle grease from their knees to their ankles. And they didn’t even see it, and they just came walking in. Bonnie went, Oh! And I said, never fear! Dad knows what to do. And I went up and got the can of WD 40. Came right off, just like that. Bonnie says, wash the WD 40 off now. But see, as an older, I’ve gone through so much axle grease, I know WD 40 takes it right off, instantly with a little paper towel and leaves no residue or even smell. It’s just perfect. Now that’s not an endorsement, okay. You know how they have that fast talking at the end of advertisements on the radio? And so, I’ll say, that’s not intended for that use but it does work. But that’s what older people, who have gone through something know how to do. That’s what Paul was telling Titus he needed to enlist. Enlist the older believers who had already gone through the actual grease of sin. Maybe not in every form that the Cretan people were dealing with at that time. It doesn’t mean you have to have experienced every sin to help someone else, but you do know what God’s Powerful grace can do. And you can just apply that and demonstrate that. So, that’s what he taught them.

This concept when Titus came to Crete to pastor Christ Church in the early 60s, he arrived at a church filled with spiritual lives that smelled like a dumpster, the old rotted flesh of their former ways stood in the way of their progress in Christ. They were bought and paid for but they needed washing and sanctification, and that’s what he asked Titus to institute.

We’ve gotten to chapter 2, and we’re going to look at verses 3 and 4. And we’ve gone through the older women, and now we’re looking at the second element of what the older women were to teach the younger women. Grace energized mothers is what Paul is addressing as we come to Titus 2. And let’s read verses 3 and 4. Titus 2, verse 3.

The grace energized older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things. Verse 4, that they admonish the young women. And I might add again, this only works if you’re a grace energized young woman that you don’t try this yourself, you don’t just stick to it and get discouraged, but you realize that His grace is sufficient. If God calls you to be a lover of your husband, a lover of your children, He gives you the grace and the power, the energy, the power of His Spirit to accomplish it. Verse 4, the grace to energize young women to love their husbands, to love their children. Those are both one words, philandros, that’s phileō of their husbands. And then, philoteknos, lovers of their children. They’re just, He made these little one word descriptions. They are to be husband lovers, children lovers.

Verse 5, discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, and obedient to their own husbands. Those young women have seven marching orders. The older women have seven principles they’re to train the younger in. Why? That the Word of God may not be blasphemed. Verse 5 ends very soberly. This isn’t optional. This isn’t something like, do you want dessert or not? Do you want to go out or not? If these elements are not present in younger women’s lives, their lives blaspheme the Word of God. Ooh. The Lord raised it up a notch there, didn’t He?

And so, Titus comes to a group of people steeped in a culture pickled in sin. And he said, I want you to live what you think is impossible. And that’s only possible to live that way if you’re energized by the grace of God who saved you. Now, He wants to sanctify you.

Let’s bow before Him in prayer. Father, I pray that this passage will be like it’s never been before in our lives. It wouldn’t be for someone else; it would be for us. That we would all want to be energized by Your grace to be the men and women and the young men and young women that You want us to be. So that, we, by our actions and attitudes don’t blaspheme Your Word and Your holy name. I pray that You would show us that if You can change these Cretins, then You can change anyone. And that means You can change me. If I, if we, if each of us will allow Your grace to energize us to be all that You have designed and desired for us to be, we pray that You, oh Lord, will be exalted through Your Word and by Your Spirit within each of our hearts. In the name of Jesus we pray, amen.

And women energized by grace have these characteristics. The first one we saw is in verse 4, that these women energized by grace are to love their husbands. Last time we saw that wives energized by grace are, first of all lovers of their husbands. Now remember a Christian home in a pagan culture just was an anomaly. It just, it stood out. And so, to think about that, those believing wives in the Early Church, like those today, almost always wanted to obey the Lord. They wanted to submit and fulfill their responsibilities to their husband, but they did that dutifully and they didn’t know how to do that lovingly. What the Apostle Paul is telling them when he says love your husband, he didn’t use the word agape. He didn’t say it’s that Christian virtue of self-sacrifice so you can dutifully self-sacrifice for your husband. No, he didn’t say that. That’s incumbent upon all of us. He adds something. He elevates this love to not just the sacrificial love of duty, but he elevates it to the sublime love of emotional friendship.

In fact, this word phileō is the word that’s used for what Jesus [felt], his emotions toward Lazarus. Do you remember what all the crowd said when Lazarus died in John 11? They said, that’s the one that Jesus loved. Not agape, phileō. And Jesus wept. He loved Lazarus. He was a close friend of His. It’s the same word that’s used for the Apostle John. Do you remember, Jesus had 12 disciples? He had three that were close to Him: Peter, James, and John. But He had one that was the closest. He was known as the one that Jesus what? Yeah, phileō. Not agape. Phileō. Phileō. As the one that Jesus sought companionship with. The one that Jesus wanted to spend time with. The one that Jesus had emotional closeness to. The one that was always closest to Him at the meals, leaning on Him no less. Okay? And this isn’t something bad, this is not… the modern liberals love to make all kinds of wrong impressions out of David and Jonathan, and Jesus and John. That there’s… no, we’re not. We’re talking about genuine, emotional, close friendship. And that’s the word right here. That the Lord says, it’s not just that loving your husband with agape love, with that supernatural sacrificial love as a virtue. Paul says that not loving him in a way that he can feel is a sin. Phileō love is felt. Agape love is seen.

Okay, then he’s calling mothers, let’s go to the next verse, the next phrase, to not only love their husbands in verse 4, but to love their children. He’s calling them also, not only to have the agape love of sacrificially serving their children, but he’s saying here, I want you also to exhibit to them love they can feel. I want to share with you, mothers energized by grace are secondly, lovers of their children.

This characteristic is one word in the Greek text, just like the first one is one word, this philandros, a lover of men, of husbands. This also, philoteknos, is one word. It means a lover of children. In fact, in 1 Timothy 2:15, Paul says that’s a woman’s highest calling. Bearing children keeps them ever from being second to men. A woman is never in second place because they are those who bear children and who are called to love them and influence them more than anyone else. And you can read that in 1 Timothy 2:15, the woman’s highest calling.

God doesn’t want all women to be mothers, or they would be. But those women who have no children mean a great deal to God because He has given them freedom to serve in unique ways. But God wants women who are mothers to love their children. Which involves not only agape love, making personal sacrifices but expressing to them love that can be felt. And that’s what is so important for us, especially as a loving mother pours her life into her child’s life so that her child grows up to love Christ. Almost all mothers in the world have the same maternal instinct of love, I’m not talking about that. That, God gives that to everyone, that nurturing and protection of their babies is normal and it causes widespread public indignation when a mother is found abandoning or even worse, harming her child. In all the cultures of the world that’s pretty much standard.

I don’t know if you read, recently Japan has opened in their general hospital in Tokyo a window. Anybody read that in the news? There’s this little window; it’s a drop box. It’s for unwanted babies. And it was in the newspapers. And this isn’t a joke, it’s true. And they opened it with great fanfare. And if a woman had a baby and she was too busy in her career or whatever, instead of harming it just put it in the drop box and there would always be a nurse on duty that would receive that baby. And it would be taken care of and adopted out. The first day the drop box in the Tokyo General Hospital opened a four and a half year old was dumped in there, caused outrage across the whole nation of Japan. There was just outrage that someone did that. And all of a sudden, people start thinking, if you don’t love the infant, how could you love the toddler, right? So, there is public outrage when people, mothers, don’t show love. It’s built into almost every mom. There is an equally widespread reality, from time to time it becomes very hard to take care of children and so, sometimes mothers no longer feel love even though they have the sacrificial love and they do the duty and they clean and feed and care and nurse and everything else. They just don’t have the feelings of love. And that’s what is being addressed here.

He didn’t just say, serve your children. He says, I want you to have the emotional friendship, the love of accompanying, and of being near them, and of enjoying them. That’s what he’s calling the women of Crete to, in us today. In the Roman world, those feelings arose from having to bear children as a duty for the husbands. Remember, a lot of these women had to have children because their husband had to have an heir. So, they came into the Church with these children that they had to have from a man who just thought of them as a baby maker. They also had that resentment against their children in this culture. They also would have no life outside their home. Being acceptable in that culture, women were supposed to stay home in those days and not get out. And so, they had all the demands and pressures of their children. In fact, they also had the sweeping influence of the Roman Empire coming into the Church, of the liberation of women trying to get them out of the home and get them into career work. That’s not new either. That’s 2,000 years old. But from all that, these women were struggling in a male dominated world with taking care of those children and liking them.

And as I thought about that these last two weeks, I thought things haven’t changed much in 20 centuries, have they? Those same pressures that were brought into the homes and marriages in Paul’s days are still in various degrees with us now. The basic emotional makeup of people is pretty similar around the world as well as throughout history. So how did God instruct Paul to prepare Christ’s Church on Crete for these great social challenges and family pressures? Again, Titus 2 has the solution. God says that the way tired and burned out and depressed mothers get relief is from the faithful army of Titus 2, Grace energized older women, who are role models. And what do those older women say?

By the way, what would be a lesson that these Spirit prompted, in home mentors would teach? Let me just suggest a few things. If you were following a Titus 2 older woman into a Cretan home in the 1st century what would be something an older mother would say to one of these younger mothers that had just come to Christ, and she was just overwhelmed with the complete transformation that was taking place inside of her, and the expectations from the Word, and from the congregation of what she should be? Here are just a few.

Number one, she would be explained, as a young mother that negative feelings toward your own children in some circumstances are normal, even for a mature and godly woman. Boy, that would liberate her. In other words, saying it is normal that you struggle with negative feelings toward the children. Why? Because they’re childish. Because they do things that are wrong. Because you are imperfect and they are imperfect and you put two imperfects together, and like charges what? Yeah, repel. And there’s this revulsion, this repulsion from what they’re doing. And those negative feelings are normal. They’re not to be sustained. They’re not to be allowed to perpetuate and to grow and to fester. But the first thing that Titus 2 woman would say, explaining, negative feelings toward your own children in some circumstances is normal.

Secondly, remind them that God planned for younger women in His Church to need the mentoring of older women. God designed it. It’s right here. This is God’s plan. The absence of it is abnormal. The presence of it is what God designed from the beginning to be in His Church. Women were not to primarily learn how to parent from Spock or from any of the multitude of Christian authors primarily. They’re all wonderful supplements, but we don’t live on vitamins, right? We’re supposed to eat food. And the food was the older godly women coming alongside on an individual basis the younger women. The second thing these older women would do is remind them that God planned it for them to need the mentoring of older women.

Thirdly, these godly role models would show them how families are vulnerable to the cultural trends that seep in slowly. They would, the older godly women would, be able to point out to these younger Cretan women how the centuries of Cretan lifestyle had permeated their homes. How the parents were used to lying. How they were used to being lazy. How they were used to just being undisciplined. They would say, that is not how you are to be in Christ, you are to put that off. And they’d say, what do you mean? They’d say, I just heard you say to your children that there’s no more food left and you do have food left. You just didn’t want to give them any. Oh, well, I’m used to lying. And see, the older women would point out how the culture had seeped into their family life. A godly older woman would show them how families are vulnerable to cultural trends that seep in slowly and how these trends can devastate Biblical family life.

You want to know one for us, in our 21st century? The fragmentation that has come in our society. A godly older woman, Titus 2 woman coming into a family and spending time with a young mother would tell her how the culture that we live in is, it’s fragmenting the family. And because of all the athletic events and all the this events and all the that events that the family no longer gathers as a unit, that people basically eat walking around, and they hardly ever sit down. And everyone… and the constant intrusion of telephone, and the constant sound of the television in the background, and the constant demands of the society have fragmented so that there is never a Deuteronomy 6 model where they sit at the meals, where they go together places, and where they go to bed at the same time, and where there is this Word filled family lifetime. And the godly older women would point that out as the young mother says, oh, I’ve got to go. I’ve got to go, oh, answering the phone. She’d say, you know what? Why don’t you turn the phone off, and not go, and let’s talk for a little while because your children will never learn from you if you’re never around them, the whole idea is. And so, you can see how in the 20 centuries ago and today, show them how families are vulnerable to cultural trends that seep in slowly. And how these trends can devastate the biblical family life. And it doesn’t matter what century you live in, there are cultural trends that are very devastating to the family, the biblical family. And Titus 2 women are to point those out.

Fourthly, teach them the biblical perspective of motherhood, that children are gifts from the Lord. And our highest duty, 1 Timothy 2:15, is to raise them for God’s glory. You want to know how a woman gets saved from being second place and inferior to a man? By completely obeying God’s calling for them to raise children. There’s two kinds. There’s physical children and spiritual children. Did you know the Bible talks about mothers who have no children? And it says that the children of those who are barren, who have no physical children, are more than the children of those who have physical children. Do you know why? If you have physical children, you’ve got a lot of hours you’ve got to pour into them. If you have no physical children, you have a lot more hours you can pour into others. So, God allows women to have children, both physically and also to nurture spiritually. And a woman who sees her primary role as nurturing children, be they physical or spiritual, is saved from second place and inferiority to being out on the front line preaching and leading which is not a role, a gender specific role, that a woman can have.

God has gender specific roles. Men are to be the leaders of the home and the Church. The teachers of the home and the Church, spiritually. It doesn’t say anything about society. It doesn’t say we can’t have a woman present, although I’m not in agreement with that. But it does say though, in the Church and in the home, men are to be the leaders. God has gender specific roles for men and women. And the women are to be taught the biblical perspective of motherhood, that children are gifts from the Lord. And our highest duty is to raise them for God’s glory.

And then finally, Titus, 2 women in the 1st century, would have assured that young mother, that we don’t have any unique challenges that are just ours. That our struggles, God’s Word has clearly said, would need to be faced and dealt with God’s way. That there aren’t, the women of Crete have no unique needs that the women of Broken Arrow or Tulsa or Sapulpa or Coweta don’t have today. The Word of God is supracultural, that it is timeless. It meets every need in every culture. That’s the relevance of God’s Word and it’s sufficiency. Why did Paul stress that young Christian women should love their husbands and families? Such teaching would appear too obvious to mention. But there are forces at work back then and today that undermine even this very basic part of family life.

And the reason that we’re spending so much time on this is, in our culture today, there’s a drumbeat away from what I’ve said. Women are being told that their interests or desires come first. They must seek what makes them happy before they can be good wives and mothers. While women should be encouraged to use their gifts and abilities, each Christian woman must align her priorities with God’s wisdom, not the world’s values. She must love her husband. As we see today, she must love her children. She must accept the sacrifices that love brings and God will honor those who value what He values.

The Bible illustrates this kind of love, and I want you to see it with me. I mentioned it, but I want you to see it. Look back at John 11 in verse 3 because the Bible explains and illustrates the love that’s modeled by Christ that God wants mothers to have for their children and for their husbands. This special phileō love is demonstrated by Jesus Himself. It’s a love of close companionship and friendship. It’s emotional love. And that’s how Christ’s relationships were described in John 11:3. It’s how His relationship was with Lazarus. Therefore, verse 3 of John 11, the sisters sent to Him saying, Lord, behold. He whom you phileō is sick. They pointed out, that’s the one that You have sought close companionship. That is the one that You had a very deep and close emotional relationship with. That is the one that You loved. And so, Jesus came.

Keep going to chapter 20. I mentioned this also, but I want you to see it. John chapter 20. You remember, it says in John 20, then she ran and came to Simon Peter and to the other disciple, whom Jesus phileō-ed. You see it? John 20 in verse 2. John the Apostle was forever known in the Early Church as the one that was Jesus’ companion, that was Jesus’ friend, friend that was Jesus’ emotionally close, the one that they always if they were looking for seats He got right over there and was right next to Jesus. You couldn’t keep him away from Jesus. Now, the twelve were always around Christ. The three were always in the inner circle, but he was very close to one. Members 70 were sent out, 12 were ordained, three were drawn in, but one was the one that had his head leaning back on Christ and would look up at Him and talk to Him at the feast. There is a closeness there that is very clearly illustrated in the scripture. That’s the word that is used.

This is also the word used in Revelation 3 when John the Apostle records Christ’s words to the Early Church in the seven letters. In Revelation 3, Jesus says that He, His true saints, He loves. And those whom He loves, He will chasten. Back to Titus 2. Jesus demonstrated His love to Lazarus and to all who saw that friendship. They knew how close they were. Christ’s closeness with the Apostle John, that’s how Jesus loves us. That’s how He wants us to know He loves us. He wants us to feel His closeness. He wants us to enjoy His friendship. And that phileō love is exactly what’s in Titus chapter 2 and verse 4. That is the love that Jesus had for His closeness with His disciples, his closeness with us in the Church, and that’s the type of love. Emotional close and visible love is what the Lord asks from grace energized mothers to have toward their children.

Here are the practical love gifts that mothers energized by grace can offer love that can be felt. Practical ways that we’re going to cover, and we’re going to cover them in depth. I’ll just read them off. A mother who loves her children with phileō love gives them a heart that prays. Secondly, gives them a heart that serves and meets their needs with love. Regular schedule, nutritious meals, clean clothes, clean bodies, adequate sleep and rest. Thirdly, gives them a heart that rejoices and is filled with happiness. We’re going to look at Psalm 113, verse 9. It says, mothers are to be joyful.

I was listening this week, driving around in the car, I keep a tape of Bonnie. Whenever she’s gone, I miss her a little bit, and I play the tape, I listen to her. And she was talking about how Johnny, my oldest son, when he was little looked up at her and said something to the fact that she had Bambi’s mother’s voice, the Bambi’s mother’s voice. That’s a joyful mother.

Number four, give them a heart that gives like Christ, because love gives. Mothers, you should give to your children. Number five, give them a heart that plays and is full of fun. Did you know, if you really have this emotional love, you aren’t always the stern, sit up, button up. You can also laugh and play and have fun with them. Give them a heart that plays and is full of fun. Sixly, give them a heart that celebrates their special days. Since we have to do all those things in the family, why not make them special? You can make everything special, it’s amazing. Our children, they think that you’re always supposed to poof the napkins in the cups. They think that you’re always supposed to set the table completely. When they go somewhere and there’s just paper plates, they go, what’s wrong? Because we celebrate. If we’re going to all eat together, we celebrate. We make it special.

Number seven, give them a heart that prefers your family first. Titus 2:4 says your family are your first priority. Your husband and then your children. Number eight, give them a heart that is focused. Upon the things that matter, seeking the kingdom of God. Number nine, give them a heart that is present and attentive. It says in Psalm 119:10, with my whole heart I’ve sought thee. If you really love someone, you give them a focused heart, you’re attentive on them. And finally, give them a heart that trusts in the Lord, because a mother who loves will be kept in perfect peace because she trusts in God.

Do you know who the best model of this kind of love is? The way Paul loved his son in the faith, Timothy. Every one of these points I’m bringing out, the kind words, the affirmations, if you look at how Paul dealt with Timothy, you’ll find the model of how mothers and fathers should love, with love that can be felt, their children. Let’s bow forward to prayer and ask the Lord to teach us to love Him and enjoy His love, and to love those He’s given us.

Father in Heaven we bow before You, thanking you for Your grace that energizes wives to love their husbands, mothers to love their children, and each of us to love You, whom our souls desire. I pray that we would allow Your grace to expose any garbage in our life and that we would reject and deny and get rid of it. And I pray that Your grace would energize us to love those in our lives You have given us with this kind of love this closeness, this commitment to spend time with our husbands, with our children that Titus 2:4 calls us to. And Father for any that don’t even have Your love yet in their hearts, that they would receive a love of the truth, that they would seek You and find You, when they seek with all their heart. Coming to you by faith, Lord Jesus, our greatest need of salvation. And then the wonderful work of sanctification that You will do.

And then Father, I pray that You would just deploy us into a legion of homes where love is felt. So much today, love is not felt by those whom the love is expressed toward. Help us to study and learn how to express love that can be felt, as it was in Timothy’s life as it was with Your disciples. May it be in our homes and our marriages and our families. And we ask all this in the precious name of Jesus Christ. And for His glory we pray, amen.