WOL2025 – Proverbs-05
250313AM
Transcript
WOL2025 – Proverbs-05 – Getting Ready For The Second Greatest Day Of Your Life
Let’s open our Bibles to the book of Proverbs, and as we open there, I’m going to be… let’s start with 18. Chapter 18. The 18th chapter of the Book of Proverbs. This is an unusual… I prayed and thought a lot about which of the topics to cover at this conference, and we’re looking at 18:22 and I did confess to one of the dear saints out here. They said, I’m really enjoying Proverbs. I said, it’s a blessing. I’m enjoying it too. But I did tell them a secret. But I’ll tell you, I was assigned to teach Proverbs in November in Korea at the Bible Institute there. That’s partially why Bonnie bought me that book to copy every word of Proverbs. You know the 17:18 book I told you about on Sunday? But I’ve read Proverbs myself 100, 150 times at least. I’ve never quite seen it like I’m seeing it, writing out every word. It’s transformative. But I’ve been deciding which topics are best for the kids. I call the students at the Bible Institute the kids because they remind me of my children and it’s a joy to teach them.
And one of them, of course, that you have to teach from Proverbs for them is how to find a good wife, how to find a good husband. They’re just all over that one. When I start talking about that it’s the one time, every one of ’em, I see their eyes the whole time. They just sit up. They are totally engaged. Proverbs is also about a lot of other topics, the tongue and money and what we’ve seen already, wisdom, and submission, and pride, and everything else. But I thought, you guys have the marriage thing down. Should we really spend 45 minutes and 17 seconds on marriage? And then I thought, I wonder if we all know how important marriage is to God.
First, what Proverbs says, look at this. He who finds a wife, this is 18:22, finds a good thing. That’s great. Most people would agree with that. Saved or lost. What does the last part of that proverbs say? And obtains favor from the Lord. Do you know how important marriage is to God? He invented it. He uses marriage, more than any other topic to describe, number one, His relationship to Israel. God said, I’m married, or Israel’s married to Me, but they were both married to each other. God used marriage to portray His relationship with His chosen people of promise. And if that doesn’t, just stir your heart. God has built the history of the whole universe around Israel. That’s why, what’s going on right now, the deportation or whatever they’re doing of the activist in New York City is just a reminder of the terrible times that are coming ahead. Zechariah 12, 13, 14 tells us that the whole world is going to find those people, the Jewish people, Israel, to be a burden. Not just to a few people, not just the Palestinians, not just to the Islamic League or all the Arab nations, but to the whole world. So, Israel’s real important. God picked them.
He put ’em right where He put them, on the hinge of the continents for a reason. He sent His Word through them. He sent His son through them. All that stuff we know. But He compares His relationship to them as marriage, not business partners, not buddies, married. And then, how about the most important of all… the Church of Jesus Christ, we are betrothed, engaged and headed to a wedding supper with Him. So, marriage, now, all of a sudden… there are a lot of topics in Proverbs. All of a sudden, marriage is really important to God. And just a light look at verse 22. Marriage is a conduit for favor from God. Wow.
So, the ever brighter path for life, there’s an ever brighter path for marriage in Proverbs that’s a part of that path for life. And sometimes we don’t think about what our marriage is supposed to be in God’s whole plan, for the evangelism of the world. So, let’s just look at that. Okay? The ever brighter path, it’s the path of the just, the saved. And everything I’m talking about is what God offers, to us who know Him. And Bonnie and I were talking last night, we love walking down the road to the front gates. We don’t go past the gates because I’ve heard the alligators stay on the other side of the gates coming in here. And so, we walked right up the gates and turned around, because we knew the alligators wouldn’t get us. And so, when we were walking, I said, honey, have you thought about the fact that you can teach on marriage to any group? To those who are widowed, to those who are single, to those who are happily married, and to those who are unhappily married. Why? Because all marriages on Earth between humans are imperfect. Some people never get married. Some people were married and wish they weren’t. Some people got unmarried. Some people lost their partner. Some people never found their partner. You know what I mean? There’s all of those. But marriage is so important that God said, just like baptism, those two things, God says, you humans mess them up.
There’s so much fighting about baptism, is it once forward, three times backward? Once backward? Is it poured? Is it sprinkled? Is it not at all, is it by the priest somewhere? There’s so much fighting about baptism. So, God says, I’m going to baptize everybody the correct way, by My Spirit. Now we should still have water baptism, I’m not saying that and I teach that and everything else, but I’m talking about the big things God does so they’re done right. Everyone’s going to be married someday. Did you know it’s God’s desire that we all be married, the majority of people will be married in life. And in eternity all who are born again are married to God, the perfect marriage. So, everything I’m talking about here is reflective, this brighter path, marriage in life is just a conduit. It’s just a part of proclaiming to the world God’s original intent at creation.
What did He say in chapter 2 of Genesis verse 18? It is not good for man to be alone. That was imperfection at, before the fall, before Satan interjected the deadly pathogen and we all became of our father of the devil and rebellious like him. Before that, it was the only thing in creation that wasn’t good. God says, I don’t want you isolated. I want you in community. I want you to experience intimacy. That’s why. What is it? Is it $67 billion or $100 billion a year is raked in by the false intimacy business, pornography. Because built into every human is this longing for intimacy, and the only way they find it, illicitly is, through that vehicle. And that’s why the way of the wicked is like darkness and they don’t know what makes them stumble.
I remember when I was a student for 10 years at Dallas Theological Seminary and some of those years Dr. Swindoll was the president. In fact, he’s the one that handed me my diploma and signed my Bible and all that stuff. But I’ll never forget his sermon about the path of the wicked in darkness. He said that those that are in the pornography world are like people adrift in the ocean on a boat with no rudders. They’re dying of thirst and they’re drinking ocean water. Which just makes them thirstier and they’re in that path to darkness.
The ever brighter life, especially as it is revealed in Proverbs, is the path for the saved. That’s the message of the whole Bible. The servant hearted, they do the will of God and find, as we saw in Psalm 16:11, the best life possible, fullness of joy and everlasting pleasures. That’s the Christian life.
But they have to be selective because, as we saw in 1 Corinthians 3 some people are going to suffer loss that are Christians, and their whole life is going to burn up and they’re going to cry, and Lord’s going to wipe away the tears because they weren’t selective, they were saved. Paul said they were saved, so as by fire, that’s negative. They just get there as Job talks about, by the skin of their teeth. Whatever that means. Gums? I don’t know. But avoid ruining your life like Solomon did.
Then yesterday we looked at pride and we should be submissive. By the way. You can tell whether or not you are servant hearted by whether or not you can be told what to do. That’s what a servant is. By the way, servant is a lightening of the biblical term. The biblical term is not servant. There are eight different words for slaves in the New Testament world and the New Testament uses seven of them. And slavery is a picture that God said most embodies My servants. They’re My slaves, they’re My bond servants. That’s how Paul, every letter… Paul, a bond slave of Jesus Christ. And so, when we submit to God, He guards us from that ultimate sin of pride. As Jesus said, in John 15, apart from Me, you can’t do anything. But you try and do a lot. But it amounts to nothing if it’s apart from Me. When I submit to Him, as Jesus said, I didn’t come to do My own will, but I came to do the will of My Father. We reflect and resist. We reflect Him and resist pride.
But now this morning we should be singularly focused. That’s the whole purpose of marriage, that singular if thine eye be single, Jesus said in the Sermon on the Mount, your whole body will be full of light. If your eye is single, your marriage will be full of light. If you have a singular focus on understanding God’s amazing plan for marriage… and what is God’s amazing plan for marriage?
It, everything I’m going to show you here, it goes down this, contrast comparison and contrast pathway between wisdom and the saved and between foolishness and the lost. Okay, so let’s look at marriage that way.
Here’s what God promises about marriage. Okay? Number one, it’s either going to be a crown, or rottenness. These are descriptive verses. Look at chapter 12. No one can say it like the Lord can say it. Okay. Verse 4. An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones. Now, sadly, I have to confess, I grew up in one of the rotten bone families I can hear to this day, the sound of my parents arguing, the sound of my mother crying, the sound of them both yelling, the sound of things breaking that they threw at each other, the storming out, the slammed door, the sound of the car, all that stuff. Now, the good news is, you know that God marvelously saved my parents. By the way, they still struggled. Marriage is not easy. And they still struggled to the end of their marriage. But I know what the rottenness sounds like, looks like, and is like for the kids. A marriage is either a crown that just, it just transforms your life and there is such joy…
There’s one person… Do you remember Jesus said, if any two of you agree touching anything, I’ll do it. You have a person that you can most agree with more than anyone else on the planet, and that’s your husband or wife, and you can have the most powerful prayer ministry there ever is because there’s absolute total agreement. It can be either a crown. or rottenness.
So, proverbs is all about, God promised if you don’t do it right, it’s going to be rotten. And there was a lot of mistrust, a lot of horrible miscommunication between my parents. We lived in a 500 square foot little tiny, tiny place. And you could hear everything in every room. All three of us kids were in this room. There’s a little tiny, tiny bathroom, and then their room, and then the rest was the living room and the kitchen and the dining room. And their fights, I didn’t even know what they were talking about. Don’t touch me with those dirty hands of yours from working at Oldsmobile, with all that oil and grease on ’em. I didn’t. Why were they yelling that? Why didn’t my dad just go wash his hands in the sink? You know what I mean? You grow up hearing and wondering about this, what God said is rotten.
Here’s another one. Now, this one I just read to you. That’s 18:22. Look at the flip side. Remember, they’re always comparing and contrasting. He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord. God’s promises that marriage can be a lifelong blessing. It can be favor from God. It can be good. It’s a good thing. It’s wonderful. He’s directly involved. I caught that from verse 22. Finds good things and obtains favor from the Lord. The Lord is, He is watching. In fact, one of the proverbs says that all of our lives are before the eyes of the Lord. It’s just a beautiful reminder He’s watching. Not just watching, He’s actively involved, wow.
How about this one? An incredible gift that only God can give. Look at 19:14, houses and riches are inheritance from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord. Now remember that prudent is over here on the wise, just, the good side. Prudent means she’s, if God gives her, wow, she’s one of those that’s reflective of Him, but she’s from the Lord. An incredible gift that only God can give. Do you know how Proverbs ends? Proverbs 31:28. Y’all know that? We all know Proverbs 31. You know about the virtuous woman whose price is beyond rubies. Do you know what 28th says? Her children rise up and call her blessed. We all know that one. We rarely think about the next line. Her husband praises her.
Now, if you ever want to learn Hebrew, you should learn it to look at that verse and the following, the 29th. Do you know what it says? The husband extols and it uses the word ʿōlâ, which is the word for sacrifice. The whole burnt offering. It’s the word that’s all the way through Leviticus and all the tabernacle stuff and Exodus talking about an offering given to the Lord is completely, irrecoverably sacrificed to God. And the husband said he praises his wife for sacrificing everything. She sacrifices her body to have the children, her strength to keep the house, everything to please her husband, and he praises her for that. Wow. For the gift that only God can give.
Here’s some more. Proverbs is really good on the topic of marriage. Marriage can cause you intolerable pain if you aren’t careful. Look at 21:9. Better to dwell in the corner of a house top then in a house shared with a contentious woman. Now, I experience that. My dad moved to the basement. When I was, I don’t know what, 13. And never spoke to my mother again, for years. Lived in the same house. They’re from that old generation. You don’t divorce, but you sure aren’t married other than on paper. Did you know, God says marriage can become an intolerable pain.
It goes on. Look at verse 9 that I haven’t read yet, or verse 19 that I haven’t read yet. Let me turn and then we’ll go on to the next chapter. Better to dwell in the wilderness than with a contentious and angry woman. And then 25:24. It is better to dwell in the corner of a house top than in a house shared with a contentious woman. God promises that if you do not follow his plan, you’re in for intolerable pain. By the way, how did my parents meet? Oh, they met at a bar. Isn’t that a good place to meet? That’s where a whole generation, around us right now, are picking one another up and doing the dating game, they call it. All that stuff you’ve read about. You keep going the bar direction, it’s probably headed toward intolerable pain. That’s why they never bother to get married.
And look at what Proverbs 27 says, it gets worse by the way, if it could. Beware of the toxic drips that will destroy any joy in marriage. 27:15, A continual dripping on a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike. Let me read this because this is what’s amazing. Spouses don’t have to be overly abusive to bring misery into a marriage. It isn’t that they can strike one another and harm one another and do all that stuff. A constant drip of negativity, arguing, unhappiness, criticism, or other irritations God says become toxic and will destroy that marriage.
You can live with an unsaved person… That’s what Peter and Paul both said, because in the New Testament world, the Early Church, most of the women had come to Christ and had these unsaved pagan Roman husbands, which wasn’t a very good thing. By the way, it was acceptable in the Greco-Roman world that you have a woman you married to, so you could have a legal financial heir to your, whatever you end up with, your property, your business, your wealth. The Romans were big on law and to pass that you had to have a legal son to pass it on to. So, you had to have a wife if you’re going to retain any wealth. So, they all got one and she was supposed to stay home and hardly ever leave home and manage the home and do that. And the husband had consorts. And they were all provided for them. You went to the bathhouse; they didn’t have indoor plumbing… most of the houses. You went to the bathhouse. There was a nice lady that would take your robe and she’d take all your other clothes too, and she would do anything that you wanted her to do. She was a slave. She worked at the bathhouse and it was one of the benefits, just like the person that carries your plate away at your meal, you don’t think anything of it. They didn’t think anything of having sexual slaves at the bathhouse. Can you imagine a wife knowing that when her husband left her and the kids, for her to get the meal ready for him coming home at night, he’s going to the bathhouse. Can you imagine a Christian wife knowing her husband was living in that environment?
And you know what Paul said? Don’t leave them unless they leave you, rather without a word Peter said, there’ll be won by you, when you’re not a toxic drip that destroys any joy in marriage. For many years, for all my ministry together with Bonnie, I encouraged all of the families in the church, for the men to lead and for the wives to support and help him. And for the men to read the Bible with their wife and pray with their wife and memorize verses and do all that stuff. And I remember we, I started small groups because you know you can teach it like this with all of you and it’s one thing, but to sit down across Panera or Starbucks, eye to eye with the Bible open and discuss, it is a little different.
Now, I didn’t, I knew that, but I hadn’t thought about that. And then the last church, I remember I was standing at Starbucks and this fellow came, was behind me in the line at Starbucks. And I was ordering. When I got all done, he said, I’d like you to start a Bible study, and I didn’t know who he was talking to, so I turned around and I looked at him. It was a really fine dress, 30-year-old guy. I said, hello, do I know you? He said, no, but I know you. I said, well, hello. I said, were you talking to me? He said, yeah. He said, I think it’s time that you start a Bible study for men like me. He said, we’ve already made it in life. He said, we all own businesses. We’re all in our thirties. We own our own businesses. We have Pottery Barn houses. I went home and asked Bonnie, what is a Pottery Barn house? It’s one that looks like Pottery Barn. Everything is just like beautiful. And he said, we’re at the top of our game. He said, we fly to wherever the home of golf is, over in Scotland somewhere. They’re just, everything is great. He said, but we decided it’s time to get serious about God. I said, you’re speaking for another group. He says, yeah. He said, there’s eight of us. We all own our own companies. We’re all… we could do it… we’ll meet anywhere for one hour, once a week with you, and you tell us what to do because it’s time for us to get serious about God. Wow. That was in like 2015 and I went to Bonnie and I said, wow, this guy said that to me in Starbucks. She said, you ought to do it. It’s a great idea. I said, good. Thank you. It’s exciting. And that’s where the 52 Greatest Chapters [started].
I said, I’m going to take you through the whole Bible once [a week], one passage a week for a whole year. You’ve got to come every week, 6:00 AM and we’re going to do it. And by the way, when that word got out of that, a group of policemen came to me and said, we want to do it. A group of coaches came to me and said, we want to do it. I had all [kinds]. A group of retired guys came to me and said, we want to do it, a group of couples came and said we want to do it. And I ended up having two every day. I had 10 groups going. It was really exciting. The church was very gracious to let me. You’re spending two hours a day having coffee? I said, yeah, yeah, yeah. And we’d go to Panera and that was the state police group.
Boy, have you ever seen those state police? They have those big leather boots that come up and it’s not a normal gun, it’s oh a big gun, and they wear all that stuff, and they’re all kind of workout. And I’d get to Panera, I felt like I was really protected, a whole table of ’em. And they’re all like that, but why am I saying that? Because I got all the men their first assignment. We started reading through the Bible. I said, little something here… I want you to share with your wife every week what you find and tell her how the Lord’s changing you. Two weeks later, I was walking through church. A woman came up to me. She stood in front of me in the hall and I moved over. She kept blocking me and I looked up at her, she said… what are you telling my husband? I look and I recognized her. I said, oh, you’re, I know who you are. Your husband goes to my Bible study. She said, he does go to your Bible study group. She said, he’s acting very strange. She says, he’s… he pulls… He physically pulls me aside and says, I want to share with you what I’m finding in the Bible. She said he’s never done that in our marriage. She said he’s starting to hold my hands and pray with me every day. She said, once he even pulled me over and made me sit on his lap. Now, we have kids and we have a beautiful house and everything, but this is, are you telling him to do all that stuff? I said, I am. And I’m proud of him. And you know what the wives did? They said… they discouraged their husbands. They said, this’ll never last. I said, to the different ones I heard about that, I said, do you want Proverbs 27:15? Do you want your toxic drips to destroy this home of yours? I said, I won’t.
I’ve got to finish this. And we only have 21 minutes. This is what I alluded to at the beginning, but let’s look at it. Proverbs 31:28, her children rise up and call her blessed. By the way, Hebrew is an oriental language. It’s picturesque and it’s just one or two Hebrew words are this long sentence. We’re reading what it says the children are. They’re like crops. That are standing, kind of think of wheat, golden wheat, with the little breeze going and it’s just the wheat is waving in the breeze and you go, whoa, that’s a good crop. That’s what children are going to do. It doesn’t actually say they’re going to say you’re a blessing, but it’s, her children are rising up and just seeing what they look like is really a testimony to her. And so, that’s this idea. But boy, it’s very blunt in the next part. Her husband also stands up like the crop, but continuing there, he praises her. And it’s the word that I told you for the total burnt sacrifice. So, it’s very hard for the translators to translate this picturesque thing. And so, what they said is, he praises her but the content of the praise, look what it says… many daughters have done well, verse 29, but you excel them all. In what way? You wear the most expensive clothes? You, wear the most makeup? You turn the most heads because you’re the most gorgeous thing on wheels? What’s he saying, she excels in… By the way, all those, there’s nothing wrong with those things if they’re not the focus. But what he’s saying is, your sacrifice that pleased God, I don’t know anybody else’s life and marriage like I know yours, but you excel them all. Her husband was her greatest advocate, cheerleader, PR man. He publicly praised his wife. The powerful truth. He’s a good husband. By the way, and his words are incredibly powerful. So that’s what God says about marriage.
Now, let’s go. Getting ready for the second greatest day of your life. The first… I always said that at every wedding. I did 300 weddings and I had the two little, the sweet little couple and the guy is shaking and the bride is remarkably poised about 99% of the time. And the guy is remarkably scared to death because he is not sure what he got into and not even sure he can go through with this and everything. It’s just so much fun being there. And I, they’re standing there and finally everybody is quiet. The music’s over and I say, welcome to the second greatest day in this couple’s life. Immediately, there’s whispering. People say, did he say second? Is this a second marriage? I thought this was the first marriage. What color is her dress? Oh, it’s white. Why did he say second? I love it. And I say the first!! Because I was waiting for them to think about what I said. I said, the first and the greatest day was the day that they both received the Lord Jesus Christ. And I have personally heard from them their testimonies and I go through the Gospel. That’s how you get the Gospel in.
But marriage is the second greatest day of your life. Why? Because, God at Creation said it’s not good to be alone. And the vast majority of people throughout history have spent the largest portion of their earthly life married. We’re talking about the biggest thing. You’re married more than you work because you’re married. Even when you’re at work, you’re married. More than everything else in life. Because it’s 24/7 you’re married. And next to your walk through life with Christ, that is the second biggest thing.
Now, I know some of us in this room have lost, some of us have left, some of us have never, and some of us wish we never, we have everything in between, and then we have the wonderful marriages. But according to the Bible, it’s the second biggest deal in your life. In fact, Apostle Paul said, if you want to totally serve the Lord, don’t get married because it’s going to cost you. You’re going to have to focus on it because it’s so important.
Okay. What does the Bible describe in chapter 5? One of the more beautiful passages in the Bible. Marriage is to be like a joyful river of intoxicating blessing. Do you know what intoxication is? It makes you feel good and you want more. And it’s, that’s what marriage is. It’s a river. It’s flowing and it’s intoxicating, and you want more and more and more. It’s goodness, we already saw that, in favor from the Lord. Malachi said, it’s when we meet the companion of our youth, our young, strong time of passion, and it becomes a lifelong covenant so that for life, there’s still the wife of your youth and you still love them, select them, are aggressive toward them, are loyal to them.
Marriage is to be such a wonderful attraction that seven years of hard labor waiting for this, it’s like a moment. Remember Jacob and tricky Laben who was forcing him to work? And he worked seven years and couldn’t wait to marry Rebecca and got Leah. So, you remember all that? But the word is, it’s just seemed like a moment, he was so in love.
Marriage is to be, in Psalm 128:3, portrayed by God like a fruitful vine that delightfully grows bigger and bigger, and winds around every part of our life as opposed to what it’s become today in the Western world. You know what marriage is like? It’s like a fine crystal goblet that’s thrown on the ground and there’s broken glass, and you spend the rest of your life walking through all the painful parts of a broken marriage, which is just endemic in our culture today. God’s desire for marriage is that we have lives and marriages that are useful to Him.
And what makes marriage useful? What was God’s plan? Why do both Peter and Paul spend so much time in their epistles describing, almost more than all the other spiritual disciplines? They spend so much time describing marriage because this.
God designed marriage. It’s one of the most public displays of His plan and His purposes for the world to see. I would say Bonnie and I, in our witnessing opportunities have had maybe more opportunities just because of our marriage. When people come up and they, all over the world, the person, wherever we are, if they watch us more than two or three times, inevitably someone will come over and say. Is this a second or third marriage? What? Did you guys just get married? You’re old. What’s going on? Literally. Can you believe people are that [bold.] Even at gas stations I’ve had people ask, they say, are you guys on your honeymoon? And I thought, what did we do? And it’s just the love people can sense, they can feel, they can see when you cherish something. We’re supposed to be like that. That is what God planned.
And we’re to go out and we’re supposed to live in a dark and hopeless world that’s chasing after elusive pleasures and they never find anything that lasts. And we’re supposed to radiate Christ. How do we do that?
You know what’s interesting? This is the only curriculum in the Bible, Titus 2:1-8. It’s the only passage in all 1,189 chapters of the Bible, that in one passage says, teach this to every single older man, older woman, younger woman, and younger man. Are there any other people in the Church? They’re all either older or younger men or women. This is the only curriculum that ever was designed by God by the way. It has 24 parts, 12 for men, 12 for women in Titus 2:1-8. Let’s just look at it for a minute.
Titus 2, older men. But as for you, speak to things which are proper for sound doctrine, that the older men be sober. By the way, that Greek word is given to elders, to deacons, to older men, to older women, to younger men, to younger women. It’s the one quality. This sober mindedness. What is sober mindedness? Maintaining a balanced life in what is currently described as an obsessive compulsive world. Christians are supposed to be like this. We’re balanced. We don’t, we’re not pendular like our society and like unstable people, are reverent, very serious about God in an amused world. What is, a-mused”? A is the alpha, primitive, and muse is to meditate. A means not. Not meditative. Not thinking deeply about anything. The gaming world, that’s just unserious about the big things.
Temperate, living wisely in a foolish world. Sound in faith, guarding a healthy mind in a sick world. Our world is sick and we have to guard our minds so we don’t let pathogens in. Sound in love. If you watch the news, this is a big one. We have to stay tender in a cruel world. Did you know you can hear so many murders, so many horrible things that they don’t even phase you. That’s bad. We’re supposed to be moved with compassion like Christ. Sound in patience. We’re supposed to be going through life finishing hopefully, in a despairing world. All this assisted suicide stuff, the suicide pods now they’ve developed, we have them in America, they have them all over Europe, and people are signing up for them and they park them out in the woods and it has music. And you put on the headphones and you get in, you seal the pod and it kills you. And they’re signing up for it. We live in a despairing, hopeless world. And we’re supposed to, by the way, this list is supposed to be the goal for every man in Christ’s Church when he grows up. And there’s supposed to be an army of men living that way that are putting their arms around. Boy, you ought to read the way Titus is written by Paul to Titus, who was serving on the island of Crete, and he was his son in the faith and a church planner and all that stuff, you all know.
If I was teaching Titus I’d go into it, but it’s… the way that you’re supposed to do this comes out a little bit later in this passage and the Greek word is paramutheo. Para is alongside, so the older men are supposed to come alongside younger men and not go, you’re blowing it… because he already knows he is. They’re supposed to paramutheo. What that means is, you get close to them, and you talk in their ear, and you say, there’s a better way to do this. I’ve already done that bad myself. Can I help you? I don’t want to embarrass you in front of everybody. But you paramutheo, you come alongside of them and you let ’em know the better way, God’s way. That’s God’s calling for every man. Where are you? Do you have a group that you’re talking in their ear? Or you just spend all your time with your buddies and you don’t talk about this kind of stuff. This is what the Church, everybody in the Church was to be trained to be doing this.
The younger men, likewise, exhort… there’s that paramutheo. The younger men exhort them to live restrained in a lust filled world. Show yourself to be a pattern of good works. In all things show yourself to be a pattern. You tell the young men; this is what God wants. He wants you living, that every dad would want their daughter to be dated by you because you show a pattern that you are proper, and right, and godly, and wholesome. In doctrine, you show integrity, you believe correctly, and you know how to say it.
That’s what the older men were. That’s the curriculum. This is what’s supposed to be going on in every church. We have all these Titus 2 women’s groups. You rarely see a Titus 2 men’s group. Reverence, staying focused on God in a world of distractions. The older men are supposed to show such a clear focus that they can whisper to the younger men the benefits of learning to focus on God. I love the incorruptibility. Keeping an uncorroded life in a decaying world. Sound speech speaking God’s Words and then look at the ending. Sound speech, verse 8, that cannot be condemned so that the one who’s an opponent may be ashamed having nothing evil to say of you.
Now, we get to the women, the older women, verse 3. Likewise, just like the older men are tasked with talking to the younger women, just like the men talk to the younger men. That they, this is what the goal of every woman is. It has nothing to do with her diet, has nothing to do with her exercise, has nothing to do with the exposure of her skin to light, has nothing to do with that. Her, number one, highest goal is to be reverent in behavior. Fascinating word, hieroprepēs. You know what that means? A temple guide. [That] Doesn’t mean anything to us. It meant everything to them that got this letter.
Every town of any size in the ancient world, that was pagan, had a temple to some deity. And they walled that thing. They made it sacred. And to go see whoever your local god was, there was a sacred way that went to it. Varying lengths. The one in Ephesus was a mile outside of town, you had to walk a whole mile down that sacred way to go see the god. But you never went alone. Meeting you at the gate of the walled in sacred precinct was a hieroprepēs, a woman who was wearing a robe and would look at you and say, do you want to go see Zeus? Apollo? Whoever it is. Follow me. If you follow me, you will get to see him.
There’s supposed to be an army of women who are hieroprepēs that they say to the younger women, if you want to follow God, follow me. How did Paul put it? Be followers together of me just like I am of Christ. Imitate me. That’s the highest goal of every woman. It’s more important than her collections, her accomplishments, her posts, her grandkids, anything… that she has a life that represents God. And if you’ve, if you follow her, you’re going toward God.
Not a slander. Speaking gracefully in a grace… Look what it says, not a slander. What is slander? Diabolos, that’s one of the names of Satan. Satan is an accuser, and we’re not supposed to be like the slander. Not given too much wine, disciplining their appetites in an undisciplined world. Teachers of good things. That’s modeling godliness in an ungodly world. But look at, all of this builds for verse 4, that they admonish. Live that kind of life so that you can come alongside the younger women and invest in them. Do you know one of the greatest joys since 2017, when Bonnie and I started living out of suitcases on the road and traveling between all the Bible institutes? Do you know what the greatest blessing for me has been? Seeing the fact that Bonnie became the godly Christian mother that many of those young ladies never had.
Bonnie could live in the dorms. She, they just invite her. They sit on the floor, they just pack around her and they ask her, one of the things they ask these newly saved kids, how do you date? Dating for us growing up, before we were saved was sex. What do you do now? What is dating? They have literal…, they don’t have a godly mother. They’re supposed to, in the Church, be surrounded by this army of older women that want to teach them.
By the way, what’s the first lesson every younger woman in the Church is to be taught as soon as she’s old enough to be taught? Verse 4, that they admonish the young women. Admonish. To lay on to their mind that the claims of God and the scripture, what are they supposed to tell ’em? To love their husbands. That’s the first lesson God wants every young woman taught, love their husbands, by a husband loving older woman. Do you know what’s really interesting about that? Love their husbands. It’s not the word agape. It’s in Greek, philandros. phileō/ andros, the husband. You know what it means? Best friends.
Would you say in America, in most churches, that you would characterize most women as being best friends with their husbands? I can tell you I pastored wonderful churches, that is not normal. Women are best friends with their sisters, with their mothers, with their kids. With their husband? Are you kidding? He’s off with his guys. They’re always hunting or doing the loud stuff, and motorcycles or weightlifting and smell. They’re not best friends. They’re married. What else do you want? We’re married.
No. See, the older women have a life where they focused on what God says, and they have become the closest person in the world to their husbands, their best friends. It’s painful sometimes when you’re that close to anybody, but they teach the younger women to have a self-sacrificing love in a selfish world. To love their children, not to just make them excel in athletics and academics, but nurture them in love in a loveless world so that they become secure and discreet. They focus on God. And chaste, the older women are supposed to address every younger woman about how to be chased. They don’t need the youth pastor telling them that, and they certainly don’t need the pastor telling them that, and it shouldn’t fall upon their father to be harping on them it should be this army of godly, irresistible, older women in the power of the Spirit that says you need to pursue modesty. It’s a very immodest world.
Homemakers. Pursue homemaking in a homeless world. Good, pursuing kindness in a harsh world. Obedient to their husbands. Pursuing submission in a rebellious world, because God designed marriage is one of the most public displays.
Can you do, you know this is why the Roman Empire was overwhelmed by the Church. This is why the pagans wanted to come to Christ. They saw. Godly marriages, they saw love that they’d never understood before, and they were so curious, and that’s why this is the lesson that Paul sent to Titus, who was in the Roman City of Gortyn, in the center of Crete. A hundred thousand romans lived in that huge city there. And he radiated out that curriculum throughout the empire were to go out and live in a dark and hopeless world chasing after lucid pleasures, never finding lasting satisfaction and reflect Christ.
And so, in my last minute, this is what I have. God wants husbands who reflect Christ’s love for His Church. What does it say? Husbands love your wives as Christ love the Church. How does Christ love the Church? He loves us daily. He sacrifices for us. He cleanses us. He affirms us. He nurtures us. He protects us. He pursues us. He never gives up on us. Remember, He said, I’ll never leave you or forsake you. That’s a description of a godly husband. He loves His wife and lets her know every day He sacrifices for his wife. He’s not living selfishly for Himself. He cleanses. That means that He’s involved, asking, what are you memorizing? Where are you reading? This is what God’s doing in my life. Do you remember the woman that said, what’d you say to my husband? He’s acting strange because they don’t do this. He affirms us. It’s very hard being a wife and mother. So open to criticism, so open to rivalry. He nurtures us. He protects us. He pursues us. He never gives up on us. Wow. That’s husbands.
God wants Wives who reflect the way the Church is to love Christ; they reflect that same kind of love to their husbands. How does the Church love Christ? We want to follow Christ. We want to honor Christ. No one wants to dishonor Christ. We want to respond to Him. If we know the Lord wants something, we say, boy, I’m interested in that. We really enjoy His presence. We want to follow His lead. We long to feel more and more of His love. We always are going toward Him and seeking time with Him. And when we’re doing that, we’re just trying to find out what His plan is and we just want to do it.
Do you know how irresistible that is to a man? Have you ever examined where a lot of these a…, they call it affairs happen. As a pastor, I’ve had to deal with the carnage of affairs between believers. They’re teachers in the church, they are elders, they are leaders, they are on staff, some of them. How did that happen? How did you do what the book of Proverbs says? It’s like the pathway to Hell. And you know what? You find out many of them. They were needing someone to be close to them, and it’s at least one half their fault, but they never engendered an environment with their wife where they ever felt close to her. Now, they could be close enough to have children, but they weren’t close emotionally. Maybe they got close physically, but they didn’t have that honor/ respond, and joy/ following feeling. But they go to work and that girl at the reception thing says, boy, you look nice today. Husband looks around. He hasn’t heard anybody tell him; he looks nice in a long time. She goes, boy, you’re really good at your job. You understand what I mean? Don’t need to belabor this. Men find someone to affirm them and it’s wrong. But they do.
By the way, before I go, one of the greatest blessings Bonnie and I ever had is the foundation hired us. They said, we hate to do this, but we’re hiring you for one week. And I said, what do you want us to do? It was a big outfit in Texas. They said, we want you to fly to Mexico City. And there we have 250 church planners that live around Mexico City, all of them have planted churches. They have at least a hundred in every church. They’re all local Spanish speaking, local congregations, 250 couples doing this church planting work. Many of ’em have been there 20 and 30 years. They’re very good at that. The problem is many of them are having marriage problems and all of them have problems with their kids. The kids aren’t interested in church and the Lord and anything. I said, what is it you want us to do? And they said, we want you to go and we’re going to put you. They’re all coming. They’re going to stay in this housing and you’re supposed to teach them three or four hours a day for three days. And you’re going to eat all your meals together and everything. And we want you to teach them how to have a Christian marriage. I thought, oh, that’s going to be interesting. Seasoned. Veteran. 30 year pastors and missionaries.
So, I got there the first day and I decided I would do this. This is Ephesians 5, taking the verses and writing out the application of what they’re saying. And I want to love you as my wife and give myself to you today. I want to love you with the same devotion Christ has for [the Church.) I want spend time in the Word. I want you to be all. God is gifted and called and prepared for you to be for a husband to say that to his wife. He’s got to know what God gifted her and called her and prepared her to be. They have to get to know each other and He has to affirm that.
And so, I said, okay. I said, I’ll do the conference. And so, Bonnie and I flew there and we were trucked out to this place. And I could tell you stories about it that would make your hair stand up. They had all kinds of pathogens in the water. You couldn’t even take a shower because there was so much e. Coli in the water. They said it’ll go up your nose and in your eyes. I thought, oh, wonderful. We’re going to die in the shower. And we got there, to this place, and the electricity sometimes didn’t even work. It was really rugged. And the translator’s standing next to me and I pulled out this card. He said, what are we doing? And I said, I’m going to just start out practicing with the guys… because these are all pastors and veterans. I’m going to have them all stand up, face each other, say their wife, what Ephesians 5 says they’re supposed to say to their wives. And he read the list.
He said, you can’t do that. He said that these men would think that’s not macho, that they are lowering themselves to say that kind of stuff to their wives. I said, it doesn’t matter. God said it and I’m going to tell them, do it. And he said No. So, I said in English, okay, I want all of you to stand up. [Don’t do it. I told them. And whoop… see I hit this. We don’t need it. They turned it off because I went overtime, so I’m not going to show it to you. I’m teasing.] I said, stand up. So, they stood up. I said, face each other. So, they faced each other. Now the lights had come on. They had these can lights that shine straight down. And so, they’re standing like this and everyone’s feeling funny. All the couples are facing each other and they’re wondering what we’re going to do next. I said, now hold hands. It’s like the marriage thing. You know how they stand in front and do that. I was recreating that. And I had them facing each other and I said okay, men. Repeat after me.
Look into your wife’s eyes and say, I want to love you as my wife. There was nothing. I said, translate that. He said, no. He said, they won’t do it. I said, I want you to say to each other these words, and he finally agreed and said it. And the men, you heard them mumbling. And give myself to you today. I want to love you with the same devotion Christ asked from me as His Church. As I was going through that list, you could see in the canned lights, silver streaks coming down the faces of half or more of the 250 women.
On the break… and by the way, it was a wonderful week and it was one of the sweetest times we’ve ever had in ministry, anywhere in the world. I could tell you stories all day what the Lord did there. But on the first break, Bonnie was mobbed. She got up from her chair and started walking and it was like a beehive. You know how they’re all on each other like that on the beehive and those, you know what those women said? The ringleader of all of them said, I don’t care if my husband meant it or not; he’s never said any of those things to me in our entire marriage, and it was the greatest thing I’ve ever heard. That’s the condition of marriages in the Church, even among leaders where men do not declare the love that God designed in His Word. And God expects and God blesses. And all we’re supposed to do is obey and do it.
Okay. Let’s all stand. Now, you can stand. You don’t have to face each other. I’m going to pray. Now, wouldn’t that be fun. Rich? That would be a great retreat. Rich doing the marriage thing and have him do that, but I don’t have enough time. Yeah. Yeah. Let’s close in prayer and I’ll turn it over to Rich.
Father in Heaven, thank you that you think marriage is so important that You characterize Your relationship with us and with Your chosen people of promise, Israel, by using marriage. And I pray that every one of us would long to be those godly older men and women that entreat and exhort and paramutheo the younger people about the best life possible, about the path that gets brighter and brighter. I pray that we would live it. I pray that we would love it and that we would share it, as long as You leave us here till You come or call that we would be investing in the lives of those around us. It’s a hard world. And You’ve given us the best life possible. Help us to share that in the precious name of Jesus we pray, and all God’s people said, amen.
Slides
