Husbands Loved By Grace-Energized Wives

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Husbands Loved by Grace-Energized-Wives

Titus 2:4

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I’d like to go back with you to the beginning and together see God’s original intent and plan for men who would become husbands and fathers, as seen in Adam.

As you turn to Genesis 2, we see God’s original plan for husbands and fathers. Because as we honor fathers today all across our land, we can also remember that Father’s Day is all about God’s original design for husbands and wives, before the fall, before the warping that sin has caused.

In creation God designed men to be incomplete without the woman that He made for them. When Paul instructed wives to be trained in how to love their husbands, it was a reflection upon God’s original plan for marriage. Our study in Titus is just a reminder that when Christ’s church has husbands loved by grace-energized wives, those wives are just following God’s plan He laid out from the beginning. God made the first woman Eve to become Adam’s close and cherished companion, friend, and completer.

Father’s Day is a grand opportunity to go back to see God’s design as He formed the first father inGenesis 2:18.

As we turn there, think of all that has happened from Genesis 1:1. God has made the entire universe and crowned it with His last creation, in His image, called a man.

Then, God finds the first thing in the entire universe that was not good—it is right here in verse 18. God states that man should not be alone. So God crowns the creation of man with the creation of woman.

Watch this great event unfold in Genesis 2:18-25 (NKJV). There is a wealth of marriage-changing truth in these few words from God. Look at each piece.

18 And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparableto him.”

Men Need Close Companionship

First, v.18a say literally “not good is man’s aloneness.” That is as clear as can be. Aloneness, solitary living is not good. One of the deepest pains sociologists have measured in society is living an isolated and lonely life. They report that such people ache with a deep pain they can’t even fully describe. Adam ached and God observed and announced the solution for this great need.

Next, in v. 18b is God’s plan, “I will make him a helper comparable to him.” Notice God’s first reference to woman is by the title of ‘helper’. English just doesn’t convey what that Hebrew word means; hence it is not seen as a great title. Webster’s New Collegiate Dictionary defines help as a noun meaning “one that helps, especially a relatively unskilled worker who assists a skilled worker, usually by manual labor.” That definition in English is what has fueled the misconceptions of the inferiority of women and wives. If that definition doesn’t capture the world’s view of us quaint people called Bible-believing Christian’s marriages, then I don’t know what does.

But that English definition is exactly not what ‘helper’ meant to God. The Hebrew word God chose means something grand, literally it describes a person “who assists another to reach complete fulfillment”. When the same word is used in other places in the Old Testament, it is used of someone who went and rescued another person. Now there we have it.

God made woman to come to man’s rescue and save him from his lonely existence. Eve was designed to rescue Adam from not only loneliness, but also to completely fulfill Adam.

Then, God continues with another word that captures even more of the beauty of marriage. This helper was “comparable” to Adam. This suitable or comparable helper was literally “corresponding to” Adam. Man before woman had some missing pieces in the puzzle of his life and God said that was not good. So Eve was the one who provided the missing pieces to Adam’s life. Husbands by God’s design are incomplete until they receive that one God designed to correspond to them.

God promised that He would design her exactly to specifications for Adam. And that is the plan of God for marriage. Eve was to fulfill a God-designed necessary role that rescued Adam from missing his fulfillment—and in that process of being God’s special creation for man, Eve also found her completion and fulfillment. Marriage was such an incredibly designed wonder of God!

God Designed the Missing Piece to Adam’s Puzzle

From the start each partner was unique, each partner was vital, each partner was distinct, and each had a God designed role that provided immense satisfaction, fulfillment, and completion. So Genesis next records the performance of this promise God made.

21 And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place.22 Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He madeinto a woman, and He brought her to the man.

What an incredible moment. God removes part of Adam (a rib) and made woman out of it. The Hebrew word for “made” is “fashioned” and literally means “to build or rebuild so as to cause to flourish.” The missing piece of Adam’s life that caused him loneliness was not good.

But when that missing part of his life was taken by God and fashioned, that missing piece of life’s puzzle flourished into Eve. Adam’s rib under God’s design sprang to life as Eve. She was his helper, his rescuer, his completer, his satisfier, and the one who fulfilled every dimension of his life as a man.

To make creation good, God had to form a creature that was incredibly like man as well as incredibly unlike man. Note the wonders of Eve’s creation:

Eve was made for Adam.
Eve was literally made from Adam (“bone of his bone”).
Eve was brought to Adam.
Eve was named by Adam.

There was an incredible equality about them: both were made by God, and both were made in the image of God. They were made to complement one another, but not to compete with one another.

Note Adam’s response. God brought her to him. And every man or woman enjoying the privilege of marriage should at that statement lift their heart in gratitude to the Lord. He designed the woman you have joined your life with, to be your helpmate, that corresponds to every missing piece of the puzzle of your life. He gave you a partner, soul-mate, and best friend designed to be all that is needed to have a life-long fulfillment.

23 And Adam said: “This is now bone of my bones And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man.”

Adams exclaims that his wife Eve was made by God, given to him by God, specially designed, and intentionally made for his needs, as he was for hers.

Note once again in the last part of v. 22 that God personally brought Eve to Adam. You will start a whole new chapter of your marriage and open an entirely new dimension to your relationship when you realize that God Himself designed your husband or wife just for YOU! All of the differences you share in perspective, in taste, in personality, in mood, and in ability are all placed there by God for His glory and for your good.

Women are Different by God’s Design

Your wife is different from you as a husband because God made her different and wanted her different. The more you realize that truth and thank God for it, the sooner you will stop resenting those differences and resisting those differences; and start seeing her as the counterpart to your life that, by God’s grace, will help form you into what God wants you to be.

The passage continues on into the traditional marriage passage, but for us today we are going to focus on the wonderful need from Creation for husbands to be loved by their God-designed wives, who were designed to rescue husbands from loneliness.

Adam’s role designed by God was to initiate, lead, protect, provide, cherish, and husband his wife.

Eve’s role designed by God was to respond to Adam’s initiatives, follow Adam’s lead, comfort him as he protected her, receive Adam’s provision, and love him in all his dimensions as her husband.

The story of the fall is all about Eve’s first time to reverse her role. When Eve initiated disobedience to God and Adam responded, sin, sorrow, and death were the result.

But back to the original plan that it was “not good for the man to be alone”—when Titus came to minister on Crete, he faced many men who were alone while they were married.

Their life was unshared, their initiatives were not fully responded to, their leadership was not fully followed, and their marriages and homes were, as a result, far from God’s plan.

So God prompted Paul to write some words that can reach across the centuries and revitalize any marriage, any family, and any home. The key is found in the call for not only Spirit-prompted agapelove that is within the heart of every born-again believer but God also wanted each marriage and family to be trained in phileo love. God wants wives to practice the constant improvement of an emotional love of friendship, of companionship, and of a shared life with their husbands.

This love that glues husbands to their wives is a love that is chosen, and a love that is modeled, and a love that can be learned.

Paul commanded Titus to gather a group of grace-energized-women to be God’s servants and deploy them as trainers in the ancient art of becoming husband lovers. That was the first order of their curriculum.

Give Your Husband Your Deepest Love

Today, if you are married and want to give the best gift possible to your husband—give him not only your Spirit-prompted, sacrificial agape love that serves him and submits to him but give him also your emotional love that makes him become and stay your very best friend in all the world.

In fact, if you want to impact the rapidly-turning-pagan culture around us (much like that of Crete in Paul’s day), remember and heed the first thing Paul told them to do, which was to love your husband in a way that can be felt.

4b “the young women to love their husbands”

Wives energized by grace are first of all “lovers of their husbands.”

Titus two women understand that there are three specific life-long priorities that make a wonderful start. Why not quietly in your heart, ask the Lord if you have made these choices. Have you become, from the depths of your heart, a woman who loves your husband as your very best friend in all the world? To check and see if you have, remember that this type of love is built upon small choices that slowly become life-dominating priorities. Here they are:

Grace-energized-wives decide that they will make their husband the number one most important human relationship of life over all others, including parents, brothers, sisters, and friends.
Grace-energized-wives start seeking their husband’s friendship and love ahead of all other human relationships, including their children.
Grace-energized-wives begin examining their lifestyle and schedule to see if they are intentionally “spoiling their husband rotten.” If you are doing so as a way of life, then you can be sure that you are his best friend and are truly “loving” your husband.

Grace-energized-wives become a beacon of Christ’s love, reflecting to an empty and hopeless world that true love is possible and can be shared for as long as you live.

This special day that we honor and remember fathers, if you are married and have a husband, why not at this moment in your heart decide, start, and begin these three choices.

And, why not prayerfully tell your husband today (sometime during the service if you are sitting next to him or after the service), that you are going to rekindle, renew, and deepen the love God has called you to have and feel and show to your husband.

That will probably be the greatest gift you could ever give him for any Father’s Day ever. The way to accomplish such an incredible gift is right here in God’s Word.

4c “to love their children”Grace-energized-mothers love their children.

This characteristic is also one word in the Greek text, philoteknos, and it means to be a lover of children.

Secondly, grace-energized-mothers love their children. That is what Titus 2:4 says. And this love isphileo love that can be felt. That is a grace-energized-mother’s special ministry in Christ’s church[1]!

From time to time it becomes so very hard to take care of children that a mom of any century in history no longer “feels” positive feelings towards her children.

So how did God instruct Paul to prepare Christ’s church for these great social challenges and family pressures? Again, Titus two has the solution. God says that the way that tired, burned out, and depressed mothers get relief is from the faithful army of Titus two grace-energized role models.

The Bible clearly explains and illustrates this love that was modeled by Christ. This special phileolove is demonstrated by Jesus Himself. This type of close, companionship and friendship, emotional love is how Christ’s relationship is described with Lazarus (John 11:3) and with “the disciple He loved” named John (John 20:2). This is also the word used in Revelation 3:19 for Christ’s love for true saints in His church.

Jesus demonstrated His love to Lazarus and all who saw that friendship knew how close they were. The same was seen in Christ’s closeness to the Apostle John. That is how Jesus loves us and wants us to know He loves us, feeling His closeness and enjoying His friendship.

And that phileo love that is emotional, close, and visible is what the Lord asks from grace-energized mothers towards their children.

Give the Priceless Gift of Love to Your Children

Do your loved ones in your family feel your love?

Just as many husbands think that their wives admire other men more than them as they relate how, “So-and-so’s husband does this and that with his children or for his wife.” Those men do not feel the respect and admiration of their wives.

Likewise, many wives feel that their husbands think other women are either better at caring for their husbands, prettier, or better at caring for their families than they are. Those women do not feel the love of their husbands.

But most importantly for Titus two mothers energized by grace, we need to consider that many kids hurt because they sense that their parents don’t even like them.

This absence of loving approval can lead to untold pain; whereas loved ones who feel approval and love face the daily challenges in their world with eagerness and confidence.

Do you remember how Paul cultivated this type of love with a needy young man named Timothy? The mighty pastor of the church at Ephesus was also a young man with many physical and emotional needs. Paul discipled Timothy with love that could be seen and felt.

Paul Loved His “Son” Timothy

Paul loved his “son” in the faith. So as our example, how was his “love” for Timothy his “son” in the faith expressed? One of the most beautiful testimonies to the power of encouragement (or affirmation) in the New Testament is in the life of the Apostle Paul. If you read Paul’s letters to Timothy you can hear Paul tenderly encouraging Timothy.

So Paul loved Timothy, with love he could feel. Paul “affirmed” Timothy and used tender and encouraging words to help him as his son in the faith Timothy. These exhortations were tenderly given to a struggling man.

Practice Ways to Make your Love Felt

Grace-energized-mothers make sure their loved ones feel their love. To help them receive and be touched by your love, we can try to use those several key ingredients that we see in both Christ’s and Paul’s ministry. These small choices always help us to communicate affirmation and encouragement.

Grace-energized-mothers love their children in a way that can be felt when they use meaningful touches with them.

That is what Jesus did (Mark 10:16) when he blessed the children; He was always touching those He ministered to. He could have healed them with a word. Eight times in Mark alone Jesus touches those He served. So should we! The act of touch is a key to communicating warmth and affirmation. It is even essential to physical health. Be generous with your hugs.

Grace-energized-mothers love their children in a way that can be felt when they prepare special words for them.

Remember how we saw that Paul used tender and encouraging words to help his son in the faith Timothy. He doesn’t belittle him for his weaknesses and tears. We should always remember that hugs aren’t enough.

Tell your children how you feel about them! Those who are left to fill in the blanks often feel worthless and insecure. At best, only confusion can come from silence. Far too many of us are really not that encouraging.

It’s not that we have a critical spirit. Rather, we just say nothing. Our loved ones are not mind readers. We can do better than just expecting them to know we are in their corner, loving and admiring them silently. They need to hear it!

Grace-energized-mothers make an effort to catch them doing something good, right, thoughtful, considerate, well done, etc., and point it out. Highlight it! “Hey, you really handled that situation very well.”

Grace-energized-mothers love their children in a way that can be felt when they attach high value to them.

Remember what we saw in Paul, how he told Timothy he had a “treasure” entrusted him; and that he was “gifted,” and that God was “going to use him”. Grace-energized-mothers tell their children the qualities they admire in them.

Grace-energized-mothers love their children in a way that can be felt when they picture a bright future for them.

Paul told Timothy about a “crown” that was awaiting him as he ran the “race” set before him; and that the Lord was going to “reward” him. So we also should express what God can do with them as they follow Him in their life.

Grace-energized-mothers explain to their children how they can become the greatest servant of the Lord in whatever field God has gifted them. Explain why you think their gifts and character traits will be useful throughout their lives. Avoid the overuse of negative admonitions; use Biblical affirmations to inspire confident dependence upon God.

Grace-energized-mothers love their children in a way that can be felt when they make a commitment to walk through life with them.

Stand by your loved one through the months and years ahead to help make your words of affirmation become a reality. Express ways you want to be a deeper part of their life (monthly dates, weekly prayer studies, nightly prayer times, ongoing shared prayer list, etc.)

Don’t quit as soon as you miss a scheduled time because of a conflict or your loved one hurts, or discourages you or your child fails in some area. What words rang in Christ’s disciples ears from the “Great Commission”? For the rest of their life they heard Him say, “I am with YOU always!”

Grace-energized-mothers love their children in a way that can be felt when they make a commitment to pray through life with them.

Grace-energized-mothers pray for their children. Let them know you’ve done so. Start a life-long prayer list with specific areas that you have learned from them need prayer, and then PRAY. Ask for updates. Celebrate answers. Pray together.

If you are not praying for them each day, who is? Regardless of the age, they need you to lift them up before the Lord in prayer each day. Think about their day. Think about their setting. Think about the people they will be with. Pray about these situations. We need all the help we can get, and much of what happens to us or to our children in this life is beyond our control. John 17 is Christ’s model prayer for us to treasure just as His disciples did back then as they heard Him pray for THEM.

That is giving them a heart that prays.

Grace-energized-mothers love their children in a way that can be felt when they become a student of their child’s life.

Jesus started His ministry with the Twelve by one simple plan in Mark 3:14, “and He ordained 12 that they should be with Him”. Watch them, share their ups and downs; know where they are in their spiritual life, their school life, work life, home life. Find out who they are close to and who they are not close to—and why.

Take an interest in whatever seems to interest your children. Get into his or her world.
Be lovingly persistent in communicating with your children. That is, keep trying to set up times when meaningful communication can occur.
Share activities. Go to the grocery store, try a family time camping together, or even just ask them to do what you are doing with you (cooking, yard work, running errands). It is always loving to want them, include them, and ask for them to spend time with you.
Take the initiative in asking your children questions. Have an endless learning time asking about what they think, what they feel, what they like or don’t like—and why. Learn their favorite flavor, favorite food, favorite activity, dreamed of place to go, and so much more. Write it down afterward to see what you remembered, and ask again until you do remember. Then surprise them with something they like!
Listen to your children with full attention. Let them see your eyes light up when they talk to you.

8. Grace-energized-mothers love their children in a way that can be felt when they meet their needs with love:through a regular schedule of nutritious meals, clean clothes, clean bodies, adequate sleep and rest. Give them a heart that serves. And as we do so, we add to that more gifts:

Give them a heart that rejoices and is filled with happiness. Psalm 113:9 describes a “joyful” mother.
Give them a heart that gives like Christ’s (Mark 10:45): because love gives (John 3:16); because love is generous (II Cor. 9:6); because love expects nothing back (Luke 6:35).
Give them a heart that plays and is full of fun.
Give them a heart that celebrates all their special days (Matthew 5:41); and since we have to do all those things in the family, why not make them special!
Give them a heart that prefers your family first (Titus 2:4 says they are your first priority).
Give them a heart that is focused (Matthew 6:24).
Give them a heart that is present and attentive (Psalm 119:10 ‘my whole heart’).
Give them a heart that trusts in the Lord (Isaiah 26:3 ‘perfect peace trusts’).[3]

Dorothy Patterson, one of the authors of Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood, puts the issue into focus:

“A mother builds something far more magnificent than any cathedral the dwelling place for an immortal soul. No professional pursuit so uniquely combines the most menial tasks with the most meaningful opportunities.”[4]

Mothers Energized by Grace Cultivate Spiritual Assets

A servant of God has her heart set on spiritual treasures and measures life by the acquisition of spiritual assets rather than merely physical assets. Do you keep track of your Spiritual Assets? Often we know our house value, our retirement investment value, the worth of our collections and treasures, but do you keep an inventory of spiritual assets? What are some of our spiritual assets?

These are things like:

Knowing where your kids are reading in God’s Word so they remember when they grow up and leave home that you always cared how they were doing spiritually.
Asking your husband or wife each week what they are finding in God’s Word that is helping them to make it through the day. And, actually remembering what they said the last time because you care. This is a spiritual treasure because it forges a strong bond in your hearts of a shared spiritual walk.
Finding and learning scripture memory verses that you share in common with your loved onesare a spiritual treasure—not hundreds or even dozens, but a handful that you all have learned and share in common. What a treasure to quote them around the living room when the power goes out, or when an ice storm cancels church, or when you are traveling, to have this body of Scripture that you together as a couple and a family learned is a true spiritual treasure. Some of the more valuable passages are Psalm 23, the love chapter–I Corinthians 13, the fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5, and key verses on the tongue and faith in James.
Collecting testimonies of salvation is a record of each person’s greatest treasure, isn’t it? The only thing that lasts forever from this world will be people and whatever we send up to Heaven before we leave. So, who are you taking to Heaven with you? Have you heard, understood, and savored the testimonies of your family? Can you tell your husband’s or wife’s testimony? How about your children? What an incredible treasure is our salvation. Take a spiritual inventory of the status of each soul around you in those you love.
Recording and remembering those spiritual milestones, have you started on this spiritual asset yet? Do you record your loved ones salvation date, baptism date, when they started the habit of personal devotional quiet times, what they are doing in that QT? Have you started yet to celebrate each other’s spiritual birthdays? Do you keep a record of, share and celebrate any souls led to Christ by you or by loved ones, and then uphold them by prayer? Who can your family say that you, as a family, are “taking to Heaven”?
Finally, one of the great spiritual treasures is a lifelong prayer journal. Even if you’ve never started, it is never too late to start watching God at work through prayer. Any type of list will do, just date it, hold onto it, and be specific enough in your requests—and there you have it—an actual record of the God of Heaven moving in and through your life by prayer. A list of family needs, specific challenges, hurdles, obstacles, great goals, and so on are all prayed over. Also, the verses for Christ’s formation in the lives of those you love are always such a tool. Just a sheet of paper, dated, written out, and prayed over faithfully until it wears out and then a new one started will harvest great spiritual gains and treasures.

Mothers Energized by Grace Cultivate Habits that Demonstrate their Love

Mothers Energized by Grace love their children anyway. Yes I know you love them. Most of us parents adore our children — most of the time. Yet some parents have a way of regularly communicating to their children that they do not measure up. I’m thinking now about the young girl who grew up in a family where she was seen as the dunce. Now as a young woman, she continues to experience the same from her family. Children need parents who will believe in them and, no matter what, will love them anyway.
Mothers Energized by Grace prepare their children for the battleground, not the playground. Some parents constantly buy their children toys, gadgets, candy, McDonalds, etc. The kids then get into their high school years and the pampering continues. Only now, the toys are much more expensive. What does that communicate to these children? Meanwhile, other parents prepare their children for life on the battleground where a spiritual battle is taking place. These parents realize that children need more than toys. They need to be equipped for life so that they will survive the difficulties and trials they will face.
Mothers Energized by Grace deal with their own issues. There are no perfect human beings. Yet, if you don’t deal with your own issues (your sins, your insecurities, your feelings of inadequacy, etc.), these can impact your children. They may end up having to deal with some of the very issues you would never grapple with.
Mothers Energized by Grace take every opportunity to remind them of who they are in Christ. They will, most likely, receive many false messages about their identity. They will be told that their worth is based upon their academic record, their physical attractiveness, their charm, their ability to make money, etc. You bless your children when you help them grow up with a sense of their real identity.
Mothers Energized by Grace bless your children by giving them you. Jesus called the 12 to spend time with Him (Mark 3:14) and that was the great expression of His love. So should we commit to spend time with those we love. There is no substitute for your presence in their lives. Your regular, consistent, emotional and physical presence means so much. I have known a few parents who seem to see their child as one more activity on the list of things to be done for the day. Yet one senses there is no real connection between parent and child. Being attentive and giving one-on-one time are priceless gifts to children.
Mothers Energized by Grace say only what communicates value, respect, and love. Choose to never say or do anything that will humiliate. Sometimes, families will tell embarrassing, humiliating, stories about their children. The child is embarrassed at this but then the parent says, “I’m just kidding.” (In other words, “Since I think this is funny, you shouldn’t let this bother you.”) Listen, we all do things in our families that are silly, stupid, mindless, careless, etc. I have found that it is much better for me to tell about something silly or stupid that Idid — not my children. Children need to know that homes are safe places where one’s mistakes are not announced to the world.
Mothers Energized by Grace want to be their child’s greatest encourager. Far too many parents are really not that encouraging. It’s not that they have a critical spirit. Rather, they just say nothing. Children are not mind readers. We can do better than just expecting them to know we are in their corner. They need to hear it! Make an effort to catch them doing something good, right, thoughtful, considerate, well done, etc. and point it out. Highlight it! “Hey, you really handled that situation very well.”
Mothers Energized by Grace Give them what they neednot what they want. Many of us are very busy people. We have a lot going on. So often parents will feel guilty about how busy they are and so decide to give them a new “toy.” Yet we do our children no favors when we give them most everything they want. The point is this: Too many children grow up getting all the things they want while little attention is given to what they really need. Think about what your children really need if they are going to make it in this difficult world as obedient children of a loving God.
Mothers Energized by Grace Give their children something to look forward to when they come home. Give them a beautiful home to look forward to. That’s home — not house. Anyone with enough money can build a beautiful house. Our children need beautiful homes. Homes that are filled with warmth, laughter, and love. Beautiful homes are places where children can catch a glimpse of the loving God in the love of their parents. These homes remind kids that no matter how bad the day is at school or with friends, they can always come home.

For a Christian mother, another core responsibility is to care for her children. Children are to be a priority in her life. In many developed countries of the world today, an anti-birth, anti-child mentality permeates society. Bible-believing Christians, however, must affirm the paramount value of children and motherhood[6].

[1] Christ’s church has a mission that Paul summarized as pleasing God (I Thessalonians 4:1). This mission is accomplished by the proclamation of a message Paul summarized as the gospel of grace (Acts 20:24). The message of grace—that God did everything possible to be done and anyone can come to Him merely by faith seems impossible. But the most amazing part of all that the Lord is doing is His plan to do all this by a method is spelled out in Titus 2:11-14—Paul summarized as energized by God’s grace to live in a way that is otherwise impossible.

[2] These ideas are adapted from The Blessing (Thomas Nelson Publishers, 1986, Nashville) andThe Blessing Workbook (Thomas Nelson Publishers, 1993, Nashville) by Gary Smalley and John Trent, Ph.D.

[3] Adapted from Elizabeth George, A Woman after God’s Own Heart, Eugene, OR: Harvest House, 1997, chapters 7, 10, and 11.

[4] Dorothy Patterson, “The High Calling of Wife and Mother in Biblical Perspective,” in Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood, 367.

[5] Posted by Jim Martin at January 16th, 2007 online at http://www.godhungry.org/?p=592

[6] Alexander Strauch, Men and Women Equal Yet Different. Littleton, Colorado: Lewis and Roth Publishers, 1999, pp. 66-68.

Transcript

Let’s open our Bibles to Genesis. We’re looking at the specifications from the beginning. We’re looking at the original document of how God planned for fathers, husbands, families, life, back to the original, back to His Word, accounting exactly what it was He designed when He designed a father. And that’s really where I want you to start with me in Genesis 2.

Remember, there are two creation accounts. They’re exactly the same, except they’re from two different perspectives. The first chapter is what we would call a cosmological view. It’s God looking as far as creation from the perspective of the entire universe. The second creation account would be what we would call anthropological from man’s perspective because it highlights the creation of man and especially what we’re going to look at, God’s design right from the beginning.

And as I just went back and went through that this week, I was amazed how this exactly parallels what we’ve been studying in Titus 2. Because you’ll see from the beginning, before the fall, before sin, before the warping of the family and of marriage and of personal lives by sin that we come to when Paul’s writing to Titus.

Before all that, it was not, the first thing that wasn’t good in the universe was it wasn’t good for man to be alone. He needed a best friend. A helpmeet suitable for him. Isn’t that amazing? Before there was any sin, any evil, any problem, any conflict, any rivalry, anything. The first thing that God described that wasn’t good in the creation was it wasn’t good for Adam to be alone. And what a wonderful thought. As we turn to Genesis 2 and we see God’s original plan for husbands. And thus, for fathers, God’s original plan and design was for husbands and wives before the fall, before all that sin caused in creation. This is what we’re going to see starting, we’ll look from 18 down to 25.

God said men were incomplete without their woman, without the woman made for them. And that is not a defect, that’s a design plan of God. And the more we understand that the more we understand how wonderful it is, what we’re seeing in Titus, that the grace-energized wives become best friends with their husbands.

Not just to have that general, Biblical, Spirit-prompted agape love, but to have that deep, close, intimate, phileo emotional friendship love. Because, as we’ll see in our text, that men are incomplete without the woman that God made for them. When Paul instructed the wives in the island of Crete through Titus, to be instructed by the grace-energized older women in the faith.

He told them that they needed to train the younger women how to love their husbands. All that training was is a reflection back on the original plan. The further away from the original plan we get, and the further away from the creation event, and the further away from the Scriptures society gets, the more there is a breakdown of an understanding of what marriage is even all about and what the husband-and-wife relationships are.

Our study in Titus is just a reminder that what Christ’s church said husbands were to be loved by these grace-energized wives, was just a following of God’s plan from the beginning. God made the first woman, Eve, to become Adam’s close and cherished companion, his friend, his completer. That was God’s original intent, and that’s what we’re going to repeat, review, and seek to have present. Because do you remember when Paul wanted the island of Crete, as pagan as it was, to be impacted, the first course that he said for the, deploying those powerful half of the church that are women, he said, the first thing I want you to be doing is to be lovers of your husbands. You want to break through the Cretan culture, the Roman culture, you want to break through the sin-warped society?

Let them see marriage, divine style, the way it was intended to be, the way it was designed to be, the way it should be when prompted and energized by obedience to God and by the power of His Spirit and His grace working within us. Father’s Day is a grand opportunity to go back to see God’s design. And starting in Genesis 2:18 and I know I’m skipping over chapter 1 in the first 18 verses. So, what we’ve seen before that is the great and marvelous creation of God. And God has created all the universe and in six successive days, and by the way, I believe that there’s six literal twenty-four-hour days, not because of Genesis 1, but because of Exodus 20. People can get all in the smoke in Genesis 1 say, age, days, and blah, blah, blah, blah. But when Moses was talking to working people, in Sinai, at Mount Sinai, to three million people. He spoke very clearly. He says, God wrote with His own finger the creation account. And it says this. This is how you understand Genesis 1 and 2. For as you work for six days and rest the seventh, so God created the Earth in six days and rested the seventh. And what did 3 million ordinary working-class people understand that to be? God created the whole universe in six twenty-four-hour days, rested the seventh twenty-four-hour day, as you work six twenty-four-hour days, or at least a third of them or more, and rest the seventh.

And so, of course, creationism is just part of this whole study of Adam and Eve. The first man, the first woman designed by God. But God had made the entire universe. He crowned it with His last creation, which was in His image, called a man. Then look at verse 18. And the Lord God said, It is not good. Oh, have you ever noticed the cadence of the creation account? Da, da, and God saw it was good. Da, da, and God saw it was good. And there’s this, God saw it was good. And now we come to verse 18, and God said, it’s not good. God finds the first thing in the entire universe that was not good, and it’s right here in the 18th verse.

God states that man should not be alone. It’s not good. So, God crowns the creation of man with the creation of woman. I hope you always realize that Adam was the crown of the creative work of God, and then God says it’s not good to end here. I need to add one more crown to my creative work and to make woman so man would not be alone. The great event unfolds starting in verse 18 and there’s a wealth of marriage changing truth in these few words from God. As we look at each piece of this I hope that your heart will be stirred. Reminded. Remember, Peter was the apostle of the reminder. Peter was the one that, that said, I want to constantly be stirring you up in your spiritual lives by way of reminder.

And so, for the vast majority of you, looking at Genesis 2:18 to 25, it’s just going to be a reminder. For some of you, it’s just going to be revolutionary. You never even thought of it that way, but let’s look at the pieces just quickly. The first truth is men need close companionship. That’s a huge truth there.

Do you remember Adam names all the animals on Earth? What a mind he had. Just think of the power of that original powerful mind that God designed in the image of Himself as creator that Adam had. And he looked over all creation, he named all the animals. When he got all done, there was none found that could be a close companion.

Now people say, dog is man’s best friend, but yes, that’s great. But Adam did not find a close companion. Someone that was the missing pieces of the puzzle of his life. That’s literally where we’re going with the Hebrew. This woman was designed by God to be the one that, have you ever sat on a rainy day on vacation, and had one of those thousand or two thousand pieces of puzzles, and you’ve got it all put together, and then there’s these strategic pieces that aren’t there because the people that were at the cabin before you lost them, or whatever, their dog ate them, and you wonder what it would look like with all the pieces?

That’s what Adam, was like at the end of naming all of the creations of God. He looked at his life and he says, they’re all two by two. There’s no two by two for me. The missing pieces of the puzzle of his life were not there. Verse 18, the beginning says literally, not good is man’s aloneness. If you looked at the Hebrew words in the order that they’re written, we smooth it out. It is not good that man should be alone, but God literally said, not good is man’s aloneness, and that’s as clear as it can be. Aloneness, solitary living is not good. In fact, sociologists tell us that one of the deepest pains that can be measured in society is living an isolated and lonely life.

People that have no socialization, that have no contact with other people, that they’re in a city of millions, but they know no one close enough to actually have a friendship with them, or a meaningful conversation with them, other than, yes that’ll be a dollar, and they buy something. But other than that, if they don’t have a friendship with someone else, they say that’s the deepest pain that can be known other than having your arm torn off. The deepest emotional pain is that aloneness, that emptiness. And God says, not good that you be alone. Such people that in society ache with such a deep pain that they can’t fully describe it.

Adam in the Garden of Eden ached. God observed. And He announced the solution for this great need, for this great ache, for this great need. This great emptiness. So, continue, look at verse 18 of chapter 2. Here’s God’s plan. God says, I will make him a helper comparable or suitable to him. Notice God’s first reference to woman is by the title of helper. She’s not named until Adam names her. God calls her helper. He gives her a title. From the beginning, the design, the plan, the order, the whole idea of God is that He designed this woman. He gives the title helper. English just doesn’t convey what that Hebrew word means. Hence, it’s not seen as a very good title.

In fact, let me read to you, I was amused this week to read helper. I went to Webster. The Webster’s New Collegiate Dictionary. And this is what it says. This is why maybe a lot of people aren’t all hep about Genesis 2:18, especially women. This is what Webster said. If you just rely on what man thinks that God was saying, then you wouldn’t get a very good message here, because this is what the dictionary says. Helper. Noun. Meaning? One that helps, especially a relatively unskilled worker who assists a very skilled worker, usually by manual labor. Now there is the best definition of what unsaved people think Christian marriage is all about. A very skilled man helped by a very unskilled manual laborer as his helper. And you know why? If you just take the word in English, helper, that’s really what it says. But that English definition is exactly not what the word helper means in Hebrew. It doesn’t mean this person that carries bricks for the master bricklayer. It doesn’t mean the person that stands there, waiting to be told what to do. It isn’t that kind of a helper.

The Hebrew word God chose means something grand. It literally describes a person, and here’s the Hebrew word, who assists another to reach their complete fulfillment. That’s the drive of this word. It’s someone who comes along and helps another person achieve or arrive at or reach what it was they were supposed to be. So, actually it is more this idea of the completer, the one that, that finishes. But they help them achieve their fulfillment. When this same word is used in other places in the Old Testament and that’s a great way to study the Bible. If you ever want to study the Bible before you get into what everybody else says about the Bible, look at how else God uses the words of the Bible.

Remember, the Bible was supernaturally engineered by God. The Holy Spirit guided each word that was written down by the Scripture writers. We call that the inspiration, the verbal, word by word, full, plenary inspiration that God guided them. Now, parts of the Bible are dictated. God says, write this down.

In fact, the only part God actually wrote with His finger is the table of stone on the Mount Sinai that I just alluded to the creation account. That’s why we don’t give ground on the creation account, because there is no problem with that. Because God actually stuck His finger in the stone and said what He said. But the rest of the Scriptures came through individual writers, forty of them, but it came through the words God wanted. And the word that God wanted right here in another place in the Old Testament is used as someone who went and rescued another person. This word means someone that goes and rescues someone.

Do you realize what the Bible says? The Bible says that we finally understand why God created Eve. God made woman to come to Adam’s rescue and save him from his lonely existence. He was incomplete. He could not figure out why. He was alone. There were missing pieces of his life. And he was just standing there saying, God, I’ve named every creature on this planet and I’m alone still.

And God says, I’m going to make someone that will rescue you from that. This is before the fall. This is before sin. Man was incomplete even before sin and needed a helper that was suitable to him, as we’ll see the beauty of that word, to rescue him. Eve was designed to rescue Adam not only from loneliness, but also to completely fulfill Adam. To bring him to completion. Keep reading because God continues with another word. I will make him a helper. And now this next word in the Hebrew language. It captures even more of the beauty of marriage. This helper was comparable or suitable or this helper was one who corresponded to him. Now that is amazing. This suitable or comparable helper was literally corresponding to Adam. Man, before woman, had missing pieces in the puzzle of his life and God said that’s not good. So, Eve was the one who provided the missing pieces to Adam’s life. And husbands by God’s design are incomplete until they receive the one that God designed to correspond to them. To correspond at every level. To correspond with them emotionally, to correspond with them spiritually, to correspond with them intellectually, and to correspond with them physically. As well as to correspond with them through every chapter that life brings. It’s a marvelous plan. God promised that He would design her, this woman.

Remember He says, I will make him. Now, this is before the event. And God is making a promise. He looks Adam in the eye. He says, you’ve checked everything out and there’s nobody for you, right? Then I’m going to specifically design one for you. The promise God made is that she would be designed, this woman, exactly to the specifications that Adam needed.

That’s the plan of God for marriage. Eve was to fulfill a God designed necessary role. Wives fulfill a God designed necessary role. That no one else, nothing else, work wealth, the fun life, nothing else can fill that, that children, career, nothing else can fill that need. That only the wife, designed by God, can fill.

That’s God’s plan for marriage. Eve was to do that. And in that process of being God’s special creation for man, Eve also found her completion, her fulfillment, her being everything God designed her to be. That’s the marvelous work of God. That Adam had missing pieces, the missing piece was made, the missing piece found her completion in completing Adam, and Adam found his completion in this one designed for him. That was God’s plan. Marriage was such an incredibly designed wonder of God. So, man needs close companionship. God says, I see that. So, God says, I’m going to do something about it. So, the second truth, God designed the missing piece to Adam’s puzzle.

From the start, each partner was unique. Eve wasn’t just out there among all the animals, and he finally found the prettiest animal, and he grabbed her. That isn’t the idea. And that’s the way a lot of people look at marriage. They’re going to go out shopping, and they’ll just grab one, find the best one. And it doesn’t always work out, because they don’t see that they are looking for someone that God has designed to complete them at every level. And so, God designed Eve as the missing piece of Adam’s life. Each partner in this marriage was distinct. Each had a God designed role that provided immense satisfaction, that completely fulfilled them, that completed their life.

So, Genesis next records the performance of God’s promise. Drop down to verse 21. And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept. And God took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh in its place. Verse 22, then the rib which the Lord had taken from the man, He made into a woman. And I love this; He brought her to the man.

Wow, I can just imagine Adam waking up from the divine anesthesia. And here comes God walking, and on His arm He brought what Adam had searched the world for. Now, I get to see that all the time when I stand up here at the weddings. These guys, when they see their bride walking down the aisle, they act like Adam. They’re just, oh! And some of them are shaking, and they all sweat. It’s all kinds of exciting. But it was even better in the Garden of Eden, as he saw God bringing them. What an incredible moment! God removes part of Adam, a rib. He made a woman out of it. In fact, the Hebrew word, if you look down at verse 22, it says, the Lord God had taken from man, He made. Right there, that, that made. The word is literally fashioned. And the meaning of it used elsewhere in Scripture is to build or rebuild so as to cause to flourish. So, God rebuilt. He took one piece out of the man, literally to demonstrate he had a missing piece. So, He pulled out the missing piece that Adam needed to be complete. That’s the whole idea of why He took the rib. God could have just grabbed clay, could have taken an orchid, could have done anything. He took a piece of the man, so literally he had a missing piece. And He took that, and He fashioned it and caused that missing piece to flourish. Everything God does is intentional and has meaning. And the missing piece of Adam’s life that caused him lowliness was not good. But when that missing piece of his life was taken by God and fashioned, that missing piece of his life’s puzzle flourished into Eve. Everything he needed was built around and flourished from that missing piece, that rib that became Eve.

Adam’s rib, under God’s design, sprang to life as Eve. She was his helper, she was his rescuer, she was his completer, she was his satisfier, and she was the one who fulfilled every dimension of his life as a man. And so interesting in Hebrew, the first part of the next verse when he said, this is, it literally is an exclamation, this is it! It’s almost like he’s saying, there’s what I couldn’t find anywhere in the world, there it is! And then he goes on to say, bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh.

But when that missing piece came by God to make creation good, God had formed a creature that was incredibly like man. As well as incredibly unlike man. You understand that? That the wonders of Eve’s creation, Eve was made for Adam. First thing you can discern from the text. Secondly, Eve was literally made from Adam. Not only for him, from him. Bone of his bone, as it says. Eve was brought to Adam. There’s no doubt that this is God’s choice and plan and what He designed. And Eve was named by Adam. Did you catch that? If you look in verse 23, this is now bone of my bones, flesh of my flesh, she shall be called woman. That’s interesting play. Ish is the word for man, isha is the word for woman. And so, he says, ish, isha. Try that. Do a little Hebrew on your wife on the way home today. Me, ish, you, isha. Me name you and see what she does.

There’s an incredible equality about them. They were both made by God. They both were made in the image of God. They were made to complement one another, but they were not designed to compete with one another. That was never in the plan. It was very specific what God had planned. Note Adam’s response. God brought her to him, and every man or woman enjoying the privilege of marriage should, at that statement, lift their heart in gratitude to the Lord. Because if you are married this morning, God brought you your wife. Did you know your wife, you’re sitting next to, that you’re married to, or maybe isn’t here this morning, is God’s will.

If you are married, then you know something for sure is God’s will. That is God’s will. She is the one. Now, how much did Adam know about Eve, by the way, when they got married? We talk about all this; we got to really get to know them and make sure. How much do you know about her? All he knew was that God had designed someone to complete him.

Why do you think Titus had all this training for all these young women? Because a lot of them didn’t have a lot to do with who they were married to back then, 2,000 years ago. And they could have said, oh, I didn’t know him very well. If I’d have known him better, I wouldn’t have picked that one. Or I wouldn’t have let him pick me. And that’s why God said to Paul, where we’re getting in Titus 2, that whoever you are married to, not only is that your man, not only is that your will, not only is that the one I designed for you, but also you can learn to be his best friend. You can learn to love him with a love that can be felt. And it all starts right here.

Adam is overwhelmed that the one that God designed as a woman to be joined to his life as the one who’s joined to our lives was his helpmate that corresponded to every missing piece of the puzzles of his life. He gave each of us married this morning a partner, a soulmate, a best friend, designed all that we need to have for lifelong fulfillment. And that’s why Adam says in verse 23, this is now bone of my bones, flesh of my flesh, and she shall be called woman, because she was taken out of the man. Adam explains that his wife Eve was made by God, given him by God, especially designed and intentionally made for his needs as he was for her. He just accepted it from the Lord.

What I love is the last part of verse 22. If you want to back up, just before 23. God personally brought Eve to Adam. You’ll start a whole new chapter in your marriage, in your life, if you’ll look on your wife, husbands, as personally brought to you by God. Now maybe you met in a bar. That’s where my parents met, by the way. They met in a bar. That’s a great place to meet, if you’re unsaved and drink and want to live that way and meet people in bars. But, wow, every one of their children are serving the Lord. My sisters are missionary pastor’s wives and I’ve been a pastor for thirty years. It didn’t hinder meeting in a bar because they got saved. And they didn’t know anything about each other spiritually. They didn’t know anything about each other in the Word and roles. All they knew is what they like to drink. And that they like to dance, but you know what? You can learn how to love. Especially if you’re born from above and have the Spirit of God living within.

The new chapter in your marriage opens and a new dimension will start when you realize God Himself designed your husband or wife just for you. And all the differences you share in perspective, in taste, in personality, in your moods, and in all of your differences of abilities were placed there by God for His glory and for your good. Which brings us to the third truth. The first one, men don’t like to be alone. They need close companionship. That’s the first truth. The second truth is that God supplied the missing pieces in Eve.

The third truth is right here; women are different by God’s design. God made her corresponding to him. He didn’t make her a carbon copy of him. He didn’t make her a complete, you know, whatever you say. She was different than him. She corresponded to him, but she was different by design. I want you to think about women being different by God’s design. Because your wife is different from you as a husband, because God made her different. God wanted her different. And the more you realize that truth and thank God for it, the sooner you’ll stop resenting any differences and resisting those differences and start seeing your wife as the counterpart to your life, that by God’s grace will help you into what God wants you to be. Instead of trying to make your wife harmonize and be just homogenized and lined up, and just perfectly square and plumb with you, realize God made her different by design for our benefit, for our good, for us becoming all He wanted us to be.

This passage continues on if you read where I left off the traditional marriage passage that we hear so often. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and those two shall be one, and all that stuff. And we’re not going to go into that. My purpose is not to completely go through all the Bible says about marriage. But what I want you to focus on is the wonderful need from creation for husbands to be loved by their God designed wives. Wives who were designed to rescue husbands from loneliness. That’s all. So, if you haven’t heard anything else, right back to where we started, it is not good for a man to be alone. So, God says, I’m going to design someone whose sole design purpose was to be that helper.

Not the unskilled for the skilled master to come alongside and hand him bricks. The one who would rescue them from their aloneness. And from the beginning, God’s design was for a wife to become the very dearest, closest, deepest, trusted, intimate friend with her husband. That’s the plan. Adam’s role, designed by God, was to initiate, to lead, to protect, to provide, to cherish, to husband his wife.

God made that very clear. In fact, Paul reiterates that. He says that Adam was formed first, and Adam is, has a gender specific role, and the epistles go through that. And that he is supposed to lead in the family, and men are supposed to lead in the church, but that does not at all take away from what God designed the wife, in her title given by God and in her plan and design.

Eve’s role, designed by God, was to respond to Adam’s initiatives. To follow Adam’s lead, to comfort him as he protected her, to receive Adam’s provisions, to love him in all of his dimensions as her husband. In fact, chapter 3, which we’re not going to get into, the story of the fall, is all about Eve’s first time she reversed her role.

Have you ever thought about that? Eve initiated disobedience to God, and Adam reversed his role. Adam responded to her initiation of disobedience. And thus, we see, through Adam’s response, that sin and sorrow and death were the result. But let’s go now to Titus 2. So, go to the other end of your Bible.

Okay. And if you don’t know where Titus is, it goes Titus, Philemon, Hebrews, James, John, 1,2,3, or 1, 2 Peter, 1,2,3 John. So, go back ten books from the end. Okay. About, in my Bible, forty pages from the end, and get to Titus chapter 2, one of those little, tiny parts of the Bible, because the original plan from God was it’s not good for the man to be alone. Genesis 2:18. Now we’re in the book of Titus. Titus was a pastor of a church. Actually, he was a missionary over many churches we read in this book. He is going from church to church appointing elders. So, he is a kind of a church planting pastor, missionary. And when he came to minister on Crete, he faced many men who were alone while they were married.

Have you ever met a man who’s married and he’s still alone? He’s just looking for things to fill his life. He’s just looking for places to go. He never wants to go home. Do you ever work with someone like that? I remember when I was single, I would be working with married men, and I would get ready to go, and they’d all say, hey, what are you doing now? I don’t know, I’m going to go walk or something, go jog, go run, go lift weights. I don’t know, I’m going to go study. Oh, can I go with you? Aren’t you married? Yeah, I don’t know, don’t you want to go home? I don’t really want to go home. They’re alone while they’re married. That’s not a new problem. That’s an old problem. That’s what Titus faced on Crete. A group of married men that were alone while they were married. And he says, we got to resolve this problem for the good of the Gospel and the church. Their life was unshared, those men on Crete. Their initiatives were not fully responded to. Their leadership was not fully followed. Their marriages and homes were, as a result, far from God’s plan. So, God prompted And this is Titus 2, starting in verse 4, where we’re going to be this morning. God prompted Paul to write some words. And those words can reach across the centuries and revitalize any marriage, any family, and any home. And the key is found in the call for not only Spirit-prompted agape love, that is within the heart of every born-again believer.

And by the way, Paul was teaching this through Titus to believers. So, we’re already acknowledging that they have the Holy Spirit within them, that they have the love of God, Romans 5, shed abroad in their hearts by the Holy Spirit, which has already been given to them, and that love is agape love. This is to teach them a second type of love that is so vital for a marriage to flourish and to be a powerful witness in the culture. The context of this is born again people. People who had, under the conviction of the Spirit of God, because of an understanding of God’s Word, that they were lost and sinners, had responded to that in faith, had received the glorious Gospel of Jesus Christ, had turned from their sins, and who had become living temples of God.

So, that has already happened, the whole new birth process. But they were still lonely because they didn’t have a shared life. They didn’t have a marriage as God designed it to be. And so, the key in this fourth verse of the second chapter is in the call from God through Paul to Titus to the believers and across the centuries to us, to not only have Spirit-prompted agape love within the heart of every born-again believer, God also wanted each marriage and family to be trained in phileo love.

God wants wives to practice the constant improvement of an emotional love of friendship, of companionship, and of sharing their life with their husbands. Did you know men can’t resist that for very long? When a wife begins to truly make small choices in their heart and in their mind, that no matter how their husband might be different than them, and it might be troublesome or hard for them, when they make the decision that they were designed by God, and when they got married, they were brought. You weren’t just brought to the altar by your beloved father or some relative that stood in for you or some friend. You were brought to your marriage, actually, literally, on the arm of God. Because God is the one that designed this whole thing. He is a part of it all. He gave you away to that man. And that man you are married to now is God’s will. That’s why Jesus had such a low view of divorce and such a high view of marriage. And we need to think about that. And when the disciples heard Jesus preach about God’s high standards for marriage, they said, whew! It’d be better to never be married, because there’s no way out of this thing, according to Jesus, wow.

And so that’s how high, and that’s how wonderful it is. Now you say I’m not with the one, the first one that God brought to me. That doesn’t matter. Remember I said who you’re married to right now is God’s will. And you better be very careful about that. And if you’re struggling in your marriage, wives, practice this for a while and see what happens.

So, what did he tell him to do? He said this. He said, you are to practice constant improvement of an emotional love of friendship, of companionship, and of a shared life with your husband. That’s what phileo means. It doesn’t merely mean a self-sacrificing serving. It means an emotional sharing. That’s why the Bible commands us to agape our enemies.

Agape means I will respond and serve you even when you hate and try and despitefully use me. God does not say phileo your enemies. Go to them and say, oh, I just emotionally want to spend all my time with you. I just love you. I just can’t live without you. That’s not what God commands. But that’s what He commands couples. That’s what phileo love is. This love that glues husbands to their wives is a love that is chosen. It’s a love that is modeled, and it’s a love that can be learned. And so, Paul, in Titus 2, commands Titus to gather a group of grace-energized women, the older women in the faith, to be God’s servants, to deploy them as trainers in the ancient art of becoming husband lovers.

And that was the first order of their curriculum. And what they say is, and that’s the next point, God says give your deepest love to your husband. That was their first curriculum. Give your deepest love to your husbands. That was the first order. Today if you’re married and want to give the best gift possible to your husband, give him not only your Spirit-prompted sacrificial agape love that serves him and submits to him, but give him also your emotional love that makes him become and stay your very best friend in all the world. That’s what Paul’s saying. In fact, if you want to impact the rapidly turning pagan culture around us, which we live in a society so much like ancient Crete in Paul’s day, remember to heed the first thing Paul told those believers to do. And look at Titus 2:4. This is the first lesson that the older women were to teach.

That they, those are the older, grace-energized women of verse 3, admonish the young women, first lesson, philandros, husband lovers, one word. The young women, to love their husbands. Wives, energized by grace, are first of all lovers of their husbands. Titus 2 women understand that there are three specific lifelong priorities that make a wonderful start.

And as I read these, why not quietly in your heart ask the Lord if you have made these choices yet, okay? Have you thought about how to become, from the depths of your heart, a woman who loves your husband as your very best friend in all the world? Can you say, not out loud, this is a rhetorical question. To yourself, have you started making those small choices that are directing your whole life toward you becoming your husband’s best friend? You say, okay, what are the choices? Remind me. To check and see if you’ve if you have this type of love, remember it’s built on small choices that slowly become life dominating priorities.

Here they are. Number one, grace-energized Titus 2:4 wives decide that they will make their husband the number one most important human relationship of their life. And it is more important than all other relationships, including their parents, their brothers, their sisters, and their friends, and their hobbies, and their career, and their pursuits, and anything else you want to put in there.

But over everything else. Grace-energized wives, Titus 2:4 wives, decide, they make an internal choice as they hear this taught to them, which is to be taught and modeled, and discipled into them by someone who has learned it as an older woman in the faith. Grace-energized wives decide that they will make their husband their number one most important human relationship. More than their kids, more than their mother who wants to know everything, more than their friends who call them endlessly. They have made a decision that slowly will become visible to others. That they have decided, energized by God’s grace, that their husband will be their number one human relationship in life.

That they will know more about him, they will know more of his needs, they will know more of his joys and desires than anybody else on this planet. Can you imagine how that would change Crete? These husbands that were out there floating around the island of Crete, doing all their work, some of them on the port, and some of them in the vineyards, and some of them in the olive trees, and some of them in businesses, and bakers, and whatever else they were doing, and banking, and everything else.

All of a sudden, these men came to work one day, and they were saved. And everyone says, wow, that’s great, you’re saved. And the pagan says, yep, and there are a lot of ecstatic experiences these days, great, go back to work. And then months went by, and all of a sudden, he started acting different. He didn’t say, hey, anybody going fishing tonight? I want to go fishing with you. They said, I’m going home. What are you going home for? I want to go home. Can’t wait to see my wife. She’s different. Really? Tell me about it tomorrow. They thought something risqué is going on. What’d you do? He sat and talked all night. Can’t believe it’s the most wonderful thing. It’s just like when I first met her ten years ago. That woman had decided that they would make their husband the number one most important human relationship. Number two, the second decision. Grace-energized wives start seeking their husband’s friendship and love ahead of all other human relationships, including their children.

Not only do they decide that they’re going to be the number one relationship, they seek their husband’s friendship. And love. Do you remember in school, you picked someone out you wanted to be friends with, what did you do? You just happened to go out the door at the same time with them. You would carry stuff for them, you’d stand with them, you’d talk to them, you’d sit at the dining room and eat with them in the cafeteria. When you got a little older, you asked them if they were going to this, they were going to that, and you wanted to go with them. Do you remember how Jesus became friends with the disciples? Mark 3:14. Jesus ordained twelve, and here’s His entire discipleship plan, that He should be with them. Spend time with them.

What did Jesus do? He walked around with them everywhere they went. They went as a group, and they were always talking, and He was pointing out stuff. He was listening to them. He was, He noticed when they were having little squabbles. He shared things that they should know about the future. They always were in step and in sync and they never got lost. It wasn’t, oh, where’s Jesus? We don’t know where He is. Haven’t seen him for a few days. Other than when He’d go off praying and then they’d know because He told them He was praying, and they’d come out and look for Him.

You see, the second priority is grace-energized wives start seeking their husband’s friendship. They start seeking his love ahead of all other human relationships, even their children, or whoever else might be in the picture. There’s a priority there. There’s a desire there. There’s a longing. And finally, grace-energized wives, finally, begin examining their lifestyle and schedule to see if they are intentionally spoiling their husband. Intentionally letting their husband know, like that Cretan man would have said my wife’s different. Do you examine your lifestyle, your schedule, to see if you’re intentionally giving to your husband that rescue from loneliness, that rescue to complete his life, that rescue for him to find the missing pieces of his life.

Are you intentionally examining your lifestyle if you’re doing so as a way of life? Then you can be sure you’re the best friend of your husband. You are his helper, the one who rescues him, the one who brings him where he was created to be. That you are the one that, that completes him. If you are doing this, then you are loving your husband with a love that will impact the world.

Do you know how many people? Money doesn’t buy happiness. It just buys a lot more places to look for it. Do you know why my parents met in the bar? Because they were so unhappy. The bar is just a friendly, jolly place that you go. They were dispensing alcohol, which is a poor substitute for the power of the Spirit of God inside.

Do you know what happens when people are energized by God’s grace? And they start living differently, and they start loving, and they start living in a marriage as God designed it to be? People start saying, whoa, I go to church, I don’t have that. I’m religious, I don’t have that. I’ve been married so long, and I’ve got all this stuff, I don’t have that. And you say, you know what it is, it’s not me. This is not the way I can live. This is only energized by God’s grace because this is something only God can accomplish. Because I went back to the original, and I looked at what God designed marriage to be in His Word, and that’s what I’m learning as a wife. I’m learning that my husband is my number one priority. I’m learning that I’m supposed to truly pursue his friendship and his love. And I intentionally look at my schedule to see if I’m just saying it or if I’m doing it. Because you know what, if you change your schedule, you have to stop something to insert him in.

Because most couples are, like our culture, they’re moving very fast and very full. And you have to stop something to add something. You just can’t add it or everything gets thinner. And when Titus was called by God and instructed by Paul to reach one of the most pagan cultures of the Roman world, Titus 2:4 said, his first lesson is that the husbands become loved by grace-energized wives. If you want to do something great for your husband on the way home, say to him, honey, you’re the one that God brought to me. I believe that, and I want to be the one God brought to you. And I want to, by God’s grace, energized by His Spirit, I want to be the best friend you’ve ever had. I want to be so close to you, my heartbeat with yours, my desires with yours. I want to know your strengths, your weaknesses. In the process, you’re going to, husbands, have an immense ministry to your wife because you’re the initiator and the protector and the provider and everything else. That’s what God wants us to be.

The first book of the New Testament chronologically written was James and it says this, But be ye not merely what? [Hearers] of the Word, but also [doers], okay. If you are married, you have an assignment. Wives, if you don’t hear from your husband, husbands, if you don’t hear from your wives today, say were you late from the Mexico trip last night and slept through that service? You haven’t said anything, honey. Didn’t you hear that? Or you can say do you want me to start, or do you want to start? Or you can just say let’s just hold hands and do something. Okay, but don’t just hear all this. Be, if you’re a woman, energized by God’s grace to tell your husband you’re my number one relationship in life, and I’m going to seek your friendship until I don’t know what I’m doing, and I’m hooked to some respirator. And I want to examine my schedule to make sure there’s time for you. And husbands, you say ish, isha.

Okay, let’s bow for a word of prayer. Father. I thank You that Your Word is so true. So, powerful. So, practical. And also, it works. It’s not only true and inspired and energized by Your Spirit, but it works. It changed the Roman Empire. It changed the island of Crete. It changed the individuals and the lives of those churches. As the older women trained those younger women to love their husbands, give us the faith to believe You, to accept the power You’re giving us, to accomplish Your purpose in our lives and our marriages and our families. And we pray that in the name of Jesus and for His glory. And all God’s people said, Amen.

God bless you as you go.