Some classic psychological facts about anger.
- The average man loses his temper six times a week. The average woman three times a week.
- Women get more often angry at people, men get angrier at things — flat tires, machines, dull razors, etc.
- Single adults express anger twice as often as married adults.
- At home is where we are most likely to express our anger.
Anger is most frequent and intense towards those we love, not towards strangers. Anger is a very normal human reaction. Jesus got angry. In the Old Testament, it says 375 times that God got angry. The Bible says, “In your anger, don’t sin.” There’s a right way and a wrong way to get angry. There’s a harmful way and a helpful way.
Four ways people commonly express their anger. These are learned responses. Everybody expresses anger in the way they learned to express it. Some of you learned it from your parents, some of you from television, from friends, your wife/husband. You’ve learned how you respond. Someone has given titles to the four typical responses. Picture yourself as one of these four.
1. THE MANIAC: explodes like a walking time bomb, a hair-trigger temper, out of control. When he gets angry, she gets angry. Let it fly, throw things, cuss, yell, stomp up and down, throw a temper fit. A powder cage. A good example in the Bible of the exploder, the maniac, is Cain, who was the first murderer. Genesis 4:5, 8, “Cain became furious and he scowled in anger. And while they were in the field, Cain attacked [circle “attacked”] his brother Abel, and killed him.” This type of person immediately regrets their anger, they’re embarrassed, they regret what they’ve said and what they’ve done. They apologize. They’re ashamed. We all know this type of anger.
2. THE MUTE: is the exact opposite. This is the silent type. Holds it, clams up instead of blowing up. They will not admit that they’re angry. They conceal how they feel. This is the crockpot version of anger — stewing and simmering and all on the inside. When I swallow my anger my stomach keeps score. This person is susceptible to high blood pressure, ulcers, headaches, tension headaches, backaches, all kinds of things. All kinds of illnesses can be traced to bottled-up anger. There is a man, Dr. F. I. MacMillan, who wrote None of These Diseases, who has listed 51 types of illnesses that can be caused by bottled up anger, being emotionally upset and holding it in. A good example of this is Jeremiah, the weeping prophet. Jeremiah 15:17-18 I did not sit in the assembly of the mockers, Nor did I rejoice; I sat alone because of Your hand, For You have filled me with indignation.18 Why is my pain perpetual And my wound incurable, Which refuses to be healed? Will you surely be to me like an unreliable stream, As waters that fail? NKJV