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Marriage Divine Style
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“PRAYING THAT THEY WAIT TO MEET GOD’S PREPARED PARTNER FOR THEM ”
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For most of us, most of our life will be spent in marriage. What do you want those bulk of your years of life to be like? Do you want them to be hard times of tension, agony, frustration or pain? Or do you want them to be joyous and satisfying and the best years of your life?
THE CHOICE IS YOURS!
- If you are married as you listen to me this morning, then what I am about to say is what you should BE.
- If you are young and at home as you listen to me, then what I am sharing from God’s Word is what you should BECOME.
- And if you are grown, and starting out in life as a single person, this is what you should BE and what you should LOOK FOR in your marriage.
Again, this is the biggest decision next to salvation YOU WILL EVER MAKE. Be careful, be expecting a blessing, and be blessed with a wonderful joyous BIBLICAL MARRIAGE.
Can I just share a short personal testimony? Growing up in Michigan as a child was delightful. We lived by a lake and fished all summer, had fish fries with most of our neighbors, enjoyed many fun moments as a family, at church. I even would walk from sweet older ladies who were great neighbors and who would give me cookies and hugs when I visited. That was life at five years old.
As the years passed and my perception of the world around me grew I began to notice the family next door was different. They could be heard at all hours screaming, banging, throwing things, and fighting. Then my parents explained that all that fighting meant that they were separating as a couple, and later they were divorced. Soon I noticed while making a family tree for my class at Haslett School, that my dad’s mother, Grandma Barnett’s name had changed to Grandma Miller as she had divorced my grandfather and I got a new one – grandpa Miller. My mom’s mother also stopped living with grandpa, her husband, moved in with my uncle, and lived there never seeing her husband again until the day of her death. After that, and most devastating of all, I also began to notice my mother crying, my dad raising his voice and saw that there was tension inside our own home and family. Welcome to the America I grew up in, in the 1950’s!
What my family experienced is similar to some, vastly different than others. But, what I saw as the years passed, and as my exposure to God’s Word grew — caused me at a young age to start wanting with all my heart one of those wonderful marriages the Bible seemed to offer. In fact by my 10th birthday my parent had separated. My dad made a separate apartment for himself in the lower level of our home and only seemed to talk to my mom when they were angry. That sadness and tension and conflict drove me to the Psalms where many over the centuries have found comfort. My comfort became a prayer, “Lord, please let me have a home, a wife, and a family like Psalm 127 and 128 seems to promise.”
That prayer never stopped. It adapted to my growing years, it was challenged by the fact that my parents chose to basically not share their lives for the entire time I watched them through all my youth, college and ministry.
I most distinctly remember walking through the back woods at BJU after my jogging miles were finished to cool down, and as I walked days, weeks, and months passed with the same prayer – “Lord don’t let me go my own way. I only want to marry the one you have prepared for me. I want your will not mine!”
Well this morning after almost 20 years of shared life, may I testify that the Lord answered that prayer? He gave me a wonderful marriage, a wonderful wife, a wonderful family, and a wonderful home life. He gave what the text we are reading this morning describes: A Wonderful Biblical Marriage.
Please stand and listen to what the Lord offers to each of you young people, to each of you singles, and most of all – to each of you married couples. Psalm 127-128.
Psalm 127:1-2 A BIBLICAL MARRIAGE STARTS WITH A DIVINE foundation: Unless the Lord builds the house, They labor in vain who build it; Unless the Lord guards the city, The watchman stays awake in vain. 2 It is vain for you to rise up early, To sit up late, To eat the bread of sorrows; For so He gives His beloved sleep.
Psalm 127:3-5 A BIBLICAL MARRIAGE Trusts God for blessed fruitfulness: Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, The fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one’s youth. Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them; They shall not be ashamed, But shall speak with their enemies in the gate.
Psalm 128:1-4 A BIBLICAL MARRIAGE EnjoyS a happy family life: Blessed is every one who fears the Lord, Who walks in His ways. When you eat the labor of your hands, You shall be happy, and it shall be well with you. Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine In the very heart of your house, Your children like olive plants All around your table. Behold, thus shall the man be blessed Who fears the Lord.
Psalm 128:5-6 A BIBLICAL MARRIAGE SEE THE PROMISED fulfillment of a godly family that is satisfying IN old age: The Lord bless you out of Zion, And may you see the good of Jerusalem All the days of your life. Yes, may you see your children’s children. Peace be upon Israel! And as the Apostle John said at the end of his life in 3 John 4 that the supreme earthly joy we can ever experience is when we see our family following the Lord! “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.”
O Lord, you promise us the best. We must decide. May each married couple today plan, and purpose in their hearts that this is what they want. And help them start today. And Lord, for those precious children in each home of this Your church, may they be led and shown and taught how to become this type of godly person to have this kind of marriage and family spoken of in these Psalms. And for our precious singles, Lord grant them to become and grow toward this model and walk waiting with You until they find that one who corresponds to their life that they may establish a Godly Biblical marriage. And all this we ask in Your Name that is above all other Names, in the Name of Jesus we ask. Amen.
We are studying Prayer as the key to raising, nurturing, and launching children that please the Lord. We are learning how to pray for our children.
WE MUST PRAY FOR REALITY IN THEIR SPIRITUAL LIFE:
- SEEING THEM GENUINELY SAVED.
- SEEING THEM LOVING GOD’S WORD.
- SEEING THEM LIVING IN VICTORY.
- SEEING THEM THINKING OF HEAVEN.
- SEEING THEM FINDING SIN REPULSIVE.
- SEEING THEM STAY TENDER TOWARD GOD.
WE MUST PRAY FOR INTEGRITY IN THEIR PERSONAL LIFE:
- SEEING THEM MAINTAINING A CLEAR CONSCIENCE.
- SEEING THEM LEARNING TO STAND ALONE.
- SEEING THEM SEEKING TO STAY PURE.
- SEEING THEM CULTIVATING A SERVANT’S HEART.
- PERSONAL INTEGRITY MEANS SEEING THEM NEVER BECOMING BITTER IN TRIALS.
WE MUST PRAY FOR STABILTY IN THEIR RELATIONAL LIFE
- RELATIONAL STABILITY MEANS SEEING THEM CULTIVATING A LOVE FOR THEIR BROTHERS AND SISTERS.
- RELATIONAL STABILITY MEANS SEEING THEM LEARNING TO TRUST GOD WITH HARD SITUATIONS AND NOT TO REBEL.
- RELATIONAL STABILITY MEANS SEEING THEM EACH LOVING THE WAY GOD MADE THEM AS MEN AND WOMEN.
- RELATIONAL STABILITY MEANS SEEING THEM WAITING TO MEET GOD’S CHOSEN LIFE PARTNER FOR THEM.
- A HUSBAND/WIFE IS A GIFT FROM THE LORD. Proverbs 18:22 He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD. (NIV)
- A GOOD HUSBAND/WIFE IS REALLY A GIFT FROM THE LORD. Proverbs 19:13-14 A foolish son is the ruin of his father, And the contentions of a wife are a continual dripping. 14 Houses and riches are an inheritance from fathers, But a prudent wife is from the LORD.
- A GOOD HUSBAND/WIFE IS PRICELESS. Proverbs 31:10-12 Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. 11 The heart of her husband safely trusts her; So he will have no lack of gain. 12 She does him good and not evil All the days of her life. (NKJV)
- BUT – WE MAY ONLY MARRY A BELIEVER. 2 Corinthians 6:14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?
Remember you only get one chance in life to start with a wonderful Biblical marriage. It is worth the wait. Don’t squander one of the greatest areas of life by doing your own thing instead of God’s! Think about the end of life this morning.
When your life is done, and you look back those last few weeks or months that you have before cancer, or heart or respiratory problems overtake you – will you regret the days of your marriage and family? Will you be saddened when you remember those days? Will you be saddened when you see what your children are doing? Or will those have been the greatest years of your life? I think the choice is yours. Where are you headed in your marriage and as a family this morning? You will never get to anywhere you are not headed right now!
SO — WHAT IS A BIBLICAL MARRIAGE, AND PARTNER REALLY LIKE?
There are few words that can describe the sheer delights of a marriage as God designed it to be. The Lord planned for His people to have marriages described as:
- Marriage is to be such wonderful attraction that seven years of hard labor waiting for this is like a moment (Jacob in Genesis 29:20),
- Marriage is to be like a fruitful vine that delightfully grow around our lives (Psalm 128:3),
- Marriage is to be like joyful rivers of intoxicating blessings (Proverbs 5:18-19),
- Marriage is to be goodness and favor from the Lord (Proverbs 18:22), and
- Marriage is to be to a companion of our youth (Malachi 2:14-15) to whom we make a life long covenant to;
All of us here tonight blessed in our marriages and families can testify what God’s Word describes is exactly what we who have followed the Lord have experienced.
- A Biblical marriage and family is just a small snapshot of the delights of Heaven.
- A Biblical marriage and family is just a living portrait of the perfect love of Jesus.
- A Biblical marriage and family is just a traveling demonstration of the way the Lord works on earth.
So, how do we pray for our children if we are parents? And how do we direct our lives if we are young people? And how do we live together if we are married today? Or what do we look for if we are single and waiting today? Here we go, into God’s Word to find all the answers from the Author and establisher of Marriage Himself. Lets turn back to the 1st book of the Bible Genesis. As parents pray that your children:
- BE (if you are married), BECOME (if you are at home or single and waiting) WAIT and FIND (if you know God is leading you to get married) A PERSON WHO BELIEVES THAT GOD DESIGNED MARRIAGE AND THAT WANTS TO FOLLOW HIS RULES FOR A WONDERFUL MARRIAGE. Genesis 2:18 And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.”
- BE (if you are married), BECOME (if you are at home or single and waiting) WAIT and FIND (if you know God is leading you to get married) A PERSON WHO WILL CORRESPONDS TO YOU. Genesis 2:20 So Adam gave names to all cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him.
- BE (if you are married), BECOME (if you are at home or single and waiting) WAIT and FIND (if you know God is leading you to get married) A PERSON WHO WILL BE GLUED TO YOU. Genesis 2:24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. By the way a big part of the glue is the sexual intimacy marriage provides. Have you ever licked and envelope or pulled the sealer tape, sealed it and then remembered something else and unsealed it? It doesn’t work the second or third time does it? Don’t ruin the glue of your marriage by playing with it or you will find that you are not secure in your marriage, glued together as one. Your husband or wife should be the only person you have ever experienced physical intimacy with. The first one you have loved, touched, held, and seen in any intimate way. Anything less than that will spell woes, pains, troubles, and grief for a lifetime.
- BE (if you are married), BECOME (if you are at home or single and waiting) WAIT and FIND (if you know God is leading you to get married) A PERSON WHO LIKES TO BE AT HOME AND NOT ALWAYS RUNNING. Deuteronomy 6:7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. By the way, all of those are hard to do if you don’t eat together as a family, you don’t spend time together, you don’t put them to bed, and don’t get them up.
- BE (if you are married), BECOME (if you are at home or single and waiting) WAIT and FIND (if you know God is leading you to get married) A PERSON WHO LOVES CHILDREN AND WANTS TO TEACH THEM. Deuteronomy 6:7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. Nehemiah 8:8 So they read distinctly from the book, in the Law of God; and they gave the sense, and helped them to understand the reading.
- BE (if you are married), BECOME (if you are at home or single and waiting) WAIT and FIND (if you know God is leading you to get married) A PERSON THAT WANTS A PURE HOME. Deuteronomy 6:9 You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates; 6:14 You shall not go after other gods, the gods of the peoples who are all around you; 7:25-26 You shall burn the carved images of their gods with fire; you shall not covet the silver or gold that is on them, nor take it for yourselves, lest you be snared by it; for it is an abomination to the Lord your God. 26 Nor shall you bring an abomination into your house, lest you be doomed to destruction like it. You shall utterly detest it and utterly abhor it, for it is an accursed thing. Psalm 106:35 But they mingled with the Gentiles And learned their works;
- BE (if you are married), BECOME (if you are at home or single and waiting) WAIT and FIND (if you know God is leading you to get married) A PERSON WHO KEEPS THEIR WORD.. Psalm 15:4 In whose eyes a vile person is despised, But he honors those who fear the Lord; He who swears to his own hurt and does not change;
- BE (if you are married), BECOME (if you are at home or single and waiting) WAIT and FIND (if you know God is leading you to get married) A PERSON COMMITTED TO STAY MILES AWAY FROM THE WICKED PERSON OF PROVERBS. Proverbs 5:1-3 My son, attend unto my wisdom, and bow thine ear to my understanding: 2 That thou mayest regard discretion, and that thy lips may keep knowledge. 3 For the lips of a strange woman drop as an honeycomb, and her mouth is smoother than oil: Proverbs 7:1,10-11 My son, keep my words, and lay up my commandments with thee. 10 And, behold, there met him a woman with the attire of an harlot, and subtle of heart. 11 (She is loud and stubborn; her feet abide not in her house:
What’s next? In the next two weeks we will cover the next 20 incredible passages in God’s Word that map out what we should be if we are married, what we should become while we are at home, and then as we head out into life, what we should look for in a Biblical Marriage as God planned it to be!
Check Out All The Sermons In The Series
You can find all the sermons and short clips from this series, Delights of a Word-Filled Marriage here.
Looking To Study The Bible Like Dr. Barnett?
Dr. Barnett has curated an Amazon page with a large collection of resources he uses in his study of God’s Word. You can check it out here.